Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Over time I am getting a little convinced that you be nice to people as much as you could and you did everything you should, but still you can't make friends. You just can't make them meet you before they leave the city for another job, you can't make them send you birthday wishes ‘cause obviously there is nothing mutual, and you can't be part of their wedding. You will get to know by friends of friends about them, see pictures on social media and kind of miss the time you were in touch, shared things and promised they will be friends forever. And then you laugh on the word "forever" and remember a line from Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. “Alice: How long is forever? White Rabbit: Sometimes, just one second.” And try to escape the thought.
I tell you, you're always gonna wonder why they never tried to communicate. And you will never find a satisfactory answer, never. Contrary to those people, you will have some people or maybe just one person who will never leave you –“no matter what”. You could look ugly as hell, you made zillion mistakes, you broke and broke them over again and they will stay. And you will wonder you don't deserve them or why they not leaving or maybe you'll never understand their value. But, thing is you are doing same thing others did to you.
Things once lost are often loved more, right? People don't talk to you when you’re struggling or seeking help, they kind of don't remember you exist. Some just pretend they helping but hardly do anything about it. But when you become something, they come over to congratulate you or in other words want to know how you did that and suddenly you are around so many people that it suffocates you and you don't understand what's going on. As a result, you shut off. World is a scary place, ain’t it?
Here is the irony: Often, we evolve –we change, ‘cause things changed around us and in us. Sometimes, we just get over the times when we were miserable and that’s why forget people who were then with us when everyone else walked out. Very common thing I noticed, we get job or promotion –we give treat to friends and colleagues. Parents suddenly blur in the background. I hate that, I hate the fact how everything else becomes so secondary. How fast things could change and leave us with excuses.
I noticed people are sort of scared to say things, or maybe avoid saying what should actually be said. Me too! But, guessing is a tough job right. They won't say they didn't like something, they will just react or maybe talk to other people about it. And sometimes, they will say things but won't act. They will tell you they care about you but then they will never be around when you need them. We actually, never need anyone and we have been fine that way.
There is nothing to do with any particular instance. I am writing this ‘cause I want myself to be reminded that things change and nothing is for forever, and so are the troubles. I want to be grounded, no matter what I possess. I don’t want to change the good things in me. I want to think and have things to think about, and I love impressing myself. I don’t wanna get used to anything. I have been stoic and I want to be. We become what we think. So Think!