“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

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Sunday, March 22, 2015

Valid Point

Hey.. Peeps.. :) I never wanted to be recognized or found. I always believed recognition to external world makes people set expectations and expectations scare the hell out of me, like something is chasing me in an empty hallway. I never wanted to be other's cosmic bell girl to get things done when they press button or expect. 

I had my own world of small things, unusual things and looking at things from rare dimension. I sometimes wished to be not controlled by inertia. I basically never liked to be controlled. I always drew a broken cage and a wounded free bird which struggled to came out of it. I always liked to rescue living organic matter. I don't know, I always appreciate madness and even intensity for feelings.

I hated to be compared regardless of compared for good or bad, every time I was compared -I felt like a cruel emperor is conquering my Kingdom. I loved to be unnoticed and holding an unknown identity, I found my heaven in being isolated and disconnected from world. I kind of protected my identity, behavior, thoughts from being exposed. I was scared that I will be mistaken. I never wanted anyone to understand me or second with me about anything. Closeness scared me the most, it still does. I guess there must be a theory, according to which souls with matching wavelengths understand things the way you want them to be understood without any explanation. 

I never lost my focus, I always did well at work, I always was organized, I always was accurate about time and figures. I always fulfilled promises; I always lied about my name to strangers. I was obsessed with observation. I can still find a multi-story building can gaze down for hours. I find some concepts confusing and absurd. Like, we are never scared of height -it's depth we are scared of. You are not scared unless you are on top and scared of falling down. I have always been stubborn and no one can win an argument with me, but I don't want to be a part of argument in first place.

I always use to get nightmares like drowning in water or lost in a dark unknown place. I always find it upsetting to see a flower or plant die. I am a reader like it's my religion. I always try to look at the intent of something. I love being on right side of anything like in car or bed or sitting next to people. I don't know and don't want to know how valid I am. That's just me; I will never compromise with my beliefs. We all have our own valid point which doesn't need anyone's authorization. Something’s are abstract and science is not even a tangent to it. Think!! Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Sandman

“I was tired and longed to go home and cover myself with a layer of blanket and fall asleep. I had this longed craving like some of us get mid-night cravings for something sweet. I had a bad day, I wanted to eat something delicious and surprise my taste buds and listen to a nice song and get back to normal. For some time I wished if it hasn't rained –I’d walked my way back home, under the starlit night. It rained that day, and I hate getting wet like am allergic to cold and wet. Sleeplessness occupied me as water occupies a piece of land; island is the word for it. A day never seemed this long, I used to be always busy doing something, if not then planning to do something. Time and I never had a great relationship; we were in on-off kinda relationship. I blamed time multiple times for not being in my favor, and assumed what if there was no time in existence. What if there’s a universe out of my little knowledge that is not ruled by time. I wonder how sometimes small things annoy me –how not finding another pair of socks irritates me, how wind messing up my hair annoys me, how sleeplessness and failed attempts to sleep makes me feel like giving up, how struggling to unwrap a chips packet or candy cover tempts me more to have it, how people not answering phone makes me delete their contact, how waiting kills my patience. I always had a belief that –a good sleep and nice food can comfort much to get back to normal; that belief faded a little though. I wish there was a sandman at my door all the time I wished for nice sleep and had a nightmare.” 


























For all the bad things that happened;
good ones were never enough at all,
I was stubborn like a fat kid;
whom biggest piece of cake looks small.

Nothing seems to satisfy;
when insomnia hits a little deep,
and when you are tired of trying;
it makes you silently weep.

I wished there was a sandman;
an angel to sing me to sleep,
some best things to dream about;
and some promises to keep.

Am I asking too much;
or my best is never enough?
all my failed attempts;
proved it is gonna be tough.

Loosing hopes in smokes;
in despair I lie,
adding another failed attempt;
tell me what does it signify?

I wished there was a sandman;
for they say sleep is a cure,
is this a disease?
am so sure to be unsure.

© Shreya ♥

P.S. My creation, please do not copy | Copyright © Protected | Image: Google

P.P.S. Work Of Fiction!