I don’t like if someone guesses something is wrong with me. I switch topics, I focus it on the one am talking to. I don’t manipulate any information or detail. If I tell anything, it will be true and appropriate to my knowledge else I won’t tell or skip it somehow. I don’t really prefer putting sad status if something is bothering me. You put sad status, people get nosy. They find gossip there, they even may take screen shot of it and discuss in their own little group of a kind. Sure, people who talk to me; talk about me.
It is disappointing to count on people to get you. I love sarcasm and there is comfort there. Sarcasm is escape. Remember, George Bernard Shaw? Go away if you don’t and why did I reference him. Some people like drama, but sarcasm is really my type. Drama is like shooting someone in head, sarcasm is happily making them poisoning their own tea. I rather put things in gibberish or letters or codes of my own. I love my privacy and I dislike people who disrespect it and I will do anything to protect it.
Some people say they like that I am being myself –then those people say they don’t like something in me and literally demand a change. What they think I am, ping pong ball so they can hit me from both sides? Thing is am not fond of being with people who approve me, and make me feel like they did a favor. You, Sir can keep that favor in your pocket and learn some fair sales techniques.
At times you reach the threshold of tolerating things and then you don’t fear a thing. You care a damn about the consequences, you just got a baggage and you want it off you. Then it gets you like, God you should have done it before when it hit your mind first but you let it go to the oblivion as some meaningless stupid thought.
I don’t know, it is always disappointing to expect people to understand you. They never will exactly the way you want it to. That’s why I write about it –in my phone and on this blog. Sometimes while reading a really happy comforting line, you really wanna cheat all the unpleasant thoughts and get out of your mind. But, is there a way outta mind? Remember, Sylvia Plath talking about it? I love her Unabridged Journals and everything about it.
Writing calms me down, like there happens to be a sudden drop of anxiety and anger. Sometimes, when you are out of options and do what you find best to do –you find a weird sense of missing something that’s not gone, but something that you know is not gonna happen
Sometimes, telling your thoughts or how you feel about a certain thing to people is like –telling a stupid person a joke but you have to repeat and break it down into literal meaning ‘cause they don’t get it and then the joke loses its essence, you feel like why did you even tell a joke and literally want an “undo” button and “save changes”. I guess, I am never gonna stop wondering things about people. Is there some field of study that deals with people? Perhaps!