“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

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Monday, July 27, 2015

Fine, May Be

Hey.. Peeps.. :) I guess fine is the word, overrated. Not every time you say you’re fine, you actually are. I can’t define well what fine is, sometimes fine is feeling a little low and knowing it will be okay. Sometimes, it’s feeling horrible but not trusting anyone enough to tell. But then what went wrong, what’s not fine? Eventually, things get fine –I don’t know how accurate is this, but things are never same all the time –be it anything. They say: “both shall pass” and it’s enough to make you smile or worry.

I have been doing fine; here I mean I am in my normal routine. Yesterday I was alone, no roomies. I couldn’t sleep, I was scared of dark and I can’t sleep with the lights on. So I took out last year’s Christmas lights and turned them on, I wasn’t seeking any help and I wanted to be sure I can deal with this, I did. I was trying to write “brave” with the lights but it went to messy. Then I got a fleeting thought, Gawd how am I gonna live alone.

I mean, last month I was so done with sharing room with roomies (I am particular about things at times I behave like I have an OCD) that I searched for independent flat for rent and bookmarked them, but I never called the agent to take it further.  I don’t know what’s stopping me. I always wished to live alone, my way with lots of pets. But then, at times am scared when lights are off. I remember, at my home I used to turn off the lights downstairs and run upstairs as if am a rocket. I slept around 5:30 in morning.

I bought lucky bamboo plant last week, it is good to water it and watch it grow. I gotta, wind up here. My headache is horrible at this very moment. Damn, I am just so sick of this. Here, I go, feeling like throwing up. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)

Saturday, July 18, 2015


Hey.. Peeps.. :) People say –they could be black or white but couldn’t be grey. They mean they could be anything but not the combination of black and white –anything that deals with mediocrity. I used to thing like that, I can be happy or sad –but I have realized I could be stoic too. Water could be hot or cold –it could be warm too. I believe, there is always a combination of two things and we experience them –often.

I have been grey a lot –lately. I guess, I always was grey. I used to over sleep or be insomniac for couple of days –but then I used to wake up around 2 or 3 a.m. out of nowhere –feeling thirsty, sometimes ‘cause of nightmares and couldn’t go back to sleep. I started using that time cutting articles, favorite images and quotes from newspaper. I had a (too many diaries) diary with all those quotes and articles I can’t forget, images which I can stare for long time. Oh, I got a dream catcher last week –a blue one. Here’s the pic.

Why I feel like grey, ‘cause I feel there’s nothing pure black or white. There has always been a hint of grey. Lisa Ling quoted –There's so much grey to every story –nothing is so black and white. And I like grey, I like it that way. You are never completely happy –there’s always something that bothers you a little –and trust me, we are alive till it is there. Then there’s Rebecca Solnit who quoted - There are infinite shades of grey. Writing often appears so black and white. I can’t deny that.

I have been like –either I will go or not and I never had other option in my mind. How fond we are of having options, but sometimes it is not easy. How about feeling like you want to go but can’t –that’s grey. I don’t know, I like this word grey now that I wanna ink it on me. But then, I feel like what if I get bored of seeing grey inked in blue over my wrist –you see, that’s grey am talking about.

I like travelling, I always planned to travel and explore world –places, people, language, flora and fauna and own a travel blog with zillion pictures. Earlier I couldn’t plan trips. Now I can, I have everything that’s required. Gawd knows what’s stopping me. Am I addicted to procrastination? Yes, I guess. I want to go visit kids in an orphanage –I shortlisted some nearby but honestly I postponed –Gawd knows why.

Over past weeks, I thought –may be you don’t need a group or bunch of people to plan trips. May be you just have to start and you will find them on way. Just pack your bags and get lost –come back with tan and pictures. Just get out of that damn room you’re locked into and wander. Tell stories and you’ll get audience. I am bad at figuring out maps and locating places –too bad. Bad at crossing roads and remembering the landmarks, it looks all same to me. But, someday I have to learn to be lost and be back home all by myself. 

We all are grey –I can eat little or too much but then I am always hungry for muffins and brownies. Grey better defines me. I hate some people, I like some people –but sometimes, I choose to ignore people. We choose grey when we don’t want too much of anything. We all lie in grey –like Earth is said to be in between Heaven and Hell. How could somebody possibly be not grey? There were few other thoughts about grey I had, which are lost to oblivion. Whatever I can recall are inked here. Be grey! Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)

Thursday, July 9, 2015


Hey.. Peeps.. :) This post is dedicated to IndiBlogger’s IndiSpire #LoveIsLove campaign. I have always believed that we are one –despite what race, religion, caste, culture, gender, country, language, profession or sexual orientation we belong to. We belong to homo sapiens and that is enough to connect us as one. Every decaying organic matter in this universe is different and we should respect that. We are not mannequins after all to be treated the way others want to. You can’t please everyone, you’re not pizza.

There is no user guideline or user manual to live life which has fixed common parameters. Our choices define us but it gives nobody an authority to point finger for being the one you are. I believe –be the one you are when no one’s watching. Accept yourself the way you are and derive strength from it, we don’t need other’s validation to approve what we are.

As long as the question – “Will you/I accept it if one day your son/daughter announces that he/she is gay? How are you going to handle the situation?” is concerned –Yes, I will accept it without any apprehension. I respect everyone –whoever they are, all the people who are straight or came out as gay. I have always accepted people for whatever sexual orientation they possess. I don’t get it, why they even have to come out? Be happy for what you are –that’s what matters. I don’t understand, what’s there to handle if someone’s gay? Cyber bullying for someone being gay is lame, like –Omigod, he is gay! Next time you hear someone make a big deal for being gay, reply –so? and shrug it off.

There will always be bunch of people holding flags –protesting against it. You have nothing to do with them, you never had to. There are many other things to worry about than worrying about who is gay or who is not? I don’t understand; how it makes anyone bother –for individual sexual orientation. What’s there to be ashamed of? Love has no boundaries and if you find that in a human of same sex, that’s equally okay.

Some people like you and me, having a good job, good mind and body –lack to understand that everyone is free to be what they are. I dislike discrimination –any sort of. I dislike –when a bunch of people discriminate someone for something. Discrimination is not a sign of conscious mind and if you don’t have consciousness –you’re dead even before your death. There could be zillion reasons to celebrate –go celebrate now, for whoever you are. Accept yourself and live. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

The Gap

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Yes, I was gone for a long time –I know. Well, No excuses. Lot many thoughts just pass by and go missing in oblivion. Some make it to notes in my phone and some I ink here. Some still look for words to be expressed in and some I don’t mention as it may be weird and awkward. Well, sometimes am so fond of weird. Anyways, first half of the year is gone and I want another half to be great. So have decided to plan trips. Visited home last October and after that I only had reasons to postpone my trip. So, soon I will be posting pics from my trip.

May end was my birthday and God know why the heck there’s no post on that? Yes, as every year I have decided to quit one bad habit. Well, birthday was a good one. Sister sent me a nice cake from Mumbai –unexpected. Another cake was there from friends who planned my birthday and another one from my team at work. Thanks all, though I don’t like cake cutting and blowing off candles but I love the gesture of being loved and cared and best wishes. Oh, big news –my sister is moved to Bangalore with me. That’s a good thing happened to me this month, last Saturday. June best highlight was performer award at work. 

Sometimes you want things to happen soon, same way I waited for my sister to reach here. Train arrived at 8:50 a.m. IST at SBC station, I was there early. I don’t travel much by trains or I must say I don’t travel much. But being there at railway station was not bad, here’s the pic. We have been talking since Saturday. Went to local places and I found a kitten outside Shoppers Stop –a little girl selling tender coconuts, holding this kitten. I went like –aww, I want to play with it. I took it and got this pic. She will be there next weekend too in evening, and for sure I will visit again. Few things make you feel like 7 again –cartwheels, paper boats and cats are my favorite and these are sometimes enough to bring you back to normal.

Don't mind the pixels
Last year was great with few friends, this year is not. When we don’t say things or we say more than enough, we make things worse. Well, that’s another story and whatever happens, happens for a reason. Moving on is an art and not all can do. Everything we do should make sense, if not –be drunk. Sometimes you have much people who want you to be around, sometimes you want to be with few people. It is not great to know that you run out of time for some people and some people cast excuses when you expect their time. 

I don’t like people who approach me when they need help, people who borrow money and stuffs being so lame and then don’t return even after being reminded, people who post status on morals and do things that are totally immoral. I wish people were exactly same as they appear on social media. 

There’s always been a gap between things, events, people and stuffs that exist. Time's a bitch, you know. Sometimes, filling gaps is making things better and sometimes it is a bad attempt. They say, build bridges not walls but some people count their success by the walls they have built. The laurels of their success are so illusory that they can’t differentiate what’s wrong or right. Problem is people don’t know there’s a problem. Sometimes, while filling the gap you fall into it –that’s the tragedy. Signing out, may God bless y’all.. :)