“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

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Tuesday, June 2, 2015

The Trap

“Falling is so universal you know, sometimes for a while falling feels like flying. The deeper you fall, joyous the flight is. A perfect universal trap, isn’t it? It looks so easy and obvious. Once we fall, we are absorbed in it to another end like being absorbed by a black hole or being sucked in by a huge amount of vacuum. Well, we all are connected by vacuum. Love, is everything to say –everything we long for or everything we will long for. Sometimes, in my innocent opinion –love is a trap. Trap to fix things, complicate things, ease things, solve things and God knows what not. We are so destined to fall; I wonder sometimes when God plays Cupid and weaves a trap too. When was the last time God fell in love, or fell out of love? I have always believed I can never fall in love, never and that belief never fades away. Sometimes presence of people around me annoys me. Sometimes some people annoy me so much when they talk –I wish I can say, save your mouth from moving. I hate interference in my privacy and personal space. I hate being questioned where am going or why I was late. I don’t like being touched or any gesture to offer comfort. It is all a trap for me. I have always been cold –ice queen is the word for it. I hate insecurity, jealousy, and all such things. I hate closeness, I hate being favorite and I hate favors. I hate being overlooked, I don’t miss people –and am sure, love is all of these things I hate. Sometimes, I think I don’t need anyone to complete me. I hate birthday celebrations, cake cutting and gifts (unless those are books) and blowing off candles. I believe in randomness and like people who are random and positive. Sometimes, we are so trapped by our emotions and expectations that it destroys the inner peace. Sometimes, asking somebody if they slept well and had food on time is enough to bring them to life, sometimes all this is less to make any difference. Thing is, till we don’t want to be happy –we can’t be. Happiness is a mindset and I chose to be happy in any situation. Even if I am sad, I can manage it. It is like a defense mechanism and it works. I never regret and never will. Am strong and equally week when it comes to family, ‘cause I love my family. Damn, this love. You, see what it does. Some or other way we are part of synchronized trap and it goes on. I will always find reasons to be happy and will always feel better when I will see a puppy, a baby, a butterfly, a shooting star, a blooming bud and munching muffins.”

It’s not long back though;
I told myself everything is fine,
you were dressed in black;
and I was stained in wine.

You’ve watched me laughing;
throwing my head back and clapping in air,
damn it was a Sunday night;
when you first saw me crying in despair.

You gave a white handkerchief;
and I broke down down down,
my head was on your shoulder;
there was no better place in town.

There’s always a trap honey;
eternal bliss to eternal woe,
you and I are chains of it;
no end and no beginning though.

Lionel Richie songs on loop;
Pablo Neruda on page,
every word dug a new wound;
and scars must be twice my age.

You’ve punched the walls as;
my words stabbed you like a dart,
you turn them back to me;
and tore apart my heart.

It rained and the clouds were black;
my hopes sank like a paper boat in rain,
I cried curled like an abandoned kitten in bed;
and it rained all over again. 

There’s always a trap honey;
you and I were caught same time,
you’ve had your own scars;
we are even as I’ve got mine. 

© Shreya ♥

P.S. My creation, please do not copy | Copyright © Protected | Image: Google