“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

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Saturday, December 27, 2014

Nightmare

“Talking about that hollow black spot in the middle of your heart –where all your fears, worries, pain and unexpressed enigmatic agony lies –it sometimes turns up into a nightmare and haunts you, chases you. You sometimes can count on people who will save you and hug you when you are shivering. But honey, nobody can go into your sleep and then into the dreams to save you from nightmares. Nobody else can see the monster that chased to kill you in your nightmares. Nobody else can find that creepy creature under your bed that scares the hell out of you. Nobody else can feel that shiver down the spine that you felt in nightmare. In daylight, there is a crowd with unknown faces and names and identities to chase that monster to slay, but when its dark and city sleeps, nobody else burns their midnight oil to search the one who haunted you.”















In the middle of night;
when it’s dark and you sleep,
all the monsters come alive;
scare and make you weep.

You wake up screaming;
with the blood-shot eyes,
unsure who is for comfort;
that’s when you realize.

It was a nightmare;
monster under your bed is gone,
go on by the prayer,
and you feel so alone.

You’re lost in despair;
followed by sighs,
it hits your memory again;
makes you paralyze.

But it still scares you;
where all the angels hide,
you look fine but;
there’s something not fine inside.

It was a nightmare;
monster under your bed is gone,
you go on by the prayer,
and you feel so alone.

~Shreya 

P.S. My creation, please do not copy | Copyright © Protected | Image: Google

P.P.S. Non Fiction!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

People

Hey.. Peeps.. :) To understand people without being wrong about them is not always possible. We misunderstand, assume and complain. We have a cognitive image about people. Sometimes we are misunderstood and have an image, we don’t even know we ever had. I think we actually never understand anybody; we only have an idea of them and build our perceptions, expectations, beliefs and relations on them. It is a big thing –to make your castles of expectations so high only on ideas. When you give somebody your time, you actually invest something important to the relationship –whatever it is. You know you are never gonna get that time back, time is a gift you know. Sometimes you have everything, but lack by time. And sometimes you prefer somebody over everything else –be, it is your sleeping time, dinner, a meeting, you have a flight or any other possible thing. 

But if we relate and realize all the possibilities being in opposite situation, maybe we can empathize well. When you hear something bad about somebody you hate them, but when similar thing happens with you –you develop affinity for them; certainly you hate them a little less and hate yourself a little for being that wrong. Some people are too good, they love you even when you don’t deserve it and you know it. Love is a chain you know. We receive, we gotta give. If you hold it back, you won’t be happy for long. I hate some people for being mean, selfish and doing odd things to me. I know they are not good enough to be connected, but still I keep them in circle hoping it all will be fine.

Thing I hate myself about is procrastination. I delay things that need to be cut out in no time and that’s why it kicks me back and somehow it goes on loop. I also hate it when I do good to people who don’t deserve it and do less good to people who deserve it. Sometimes people do bad things and go on doing it without any reason, and it becomes a habit. They do not have bad intentions, it is just they don’t know and don’t wanna know the consequences. Not knowing is not bad, but choosing to not know causes harm. When you keep hurting people, it brings odd things to you too, or maybe I am saying this ‘cause it sounds better and relieves me and keeps me going on doing well.

Sometimes I don’t understand the reason of something odd happened, but most of the times I don’t wanna understand ‘cause it has already been on the loop multiple times that it has become so cliché that it starts repelling me. Being in night shift I enter my own room like a thief, silent and lost and hit myself with things being in dark so that other people in room don’t wake up. But not always you reap what you sow. Sometimes, it is exact opposite and disappointing. Sometimes, you are at wrong place and wrong time and with wrong people, and everything falls apart. When you are not sleepy and trying hard to sleep, even a tic of clock annoys you. 

I don’t know, maybe not everything is to be understood. There are people who understand you, who don't understand you and then ones who don't want to understand you. But that's okay; you are not theorem to be understood. Sometimes you hang out with people with absolutely opposite traits, that is how you gain experience and a remarkable episode. There are multiple types of people –some people read complete book. Some people get bored and hop onto another one. Some people read a book and randomly come across a book they can’t ignore and they bookmark the first book. Some people jump the lines and finish the chapters just to know what happened. Some people underline best lines and remember them forever. It all describes a lot about behavior. 

Things change, people change, thinking change, everything that exists –change. How can you believe a promise then? Maybe there is that profound intensity of understanding and belief that sells you this. Sometimes it is all a dogma, you never want to believe and dislike everything and everyone equally. Does anybody relate with that? Sometimes you like dogs more than people, ‘cause you don’t want to be judged and need a hug. A pet gives you all that without much in return. People are vulnerable at times, their morals go so paper thin that they make momentary self-comfort primary and everything else secondary. Sometimes your idea of understanding people proves to be totally wrong and you measure everyone else with same parameters. Virginia Woolf quoted, “It is no use trying to sum people up.” True, ain’t it? Signing out, may God bless y’all.. :) 

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Nobody Cares

“Let’s face the fact that nobody cares, if I sleep, eat and doing fine –nada, zilch. So isn't it a balanced equation if I don’t care at all? Why, I can’t be selfish as hell? What if I say, I fucking care but don’t have any medium to convey. What if am perfectly bad at expressing and fail every time without delay. Damn, these expectations –they’re like Pandora box. People are not Piñatas –that you hit them, break them and they shower care. Couldn't there be such strong telepathy that interference of words is not required to justify? I am not the girl who wears heart on her sleeves. I always thought I had time to explain, which was me being so naïve. I don’t want to lose time in explaining and proving now, for whatever I’ll do will echo in eternity.”



























You were born all alone;
moulded from dust into human,
met people in meanwhile;
and yet you belong to none.

Affinity and wishes;
jealousy and complains,
shall vanish like smoke in air;
‘cause nothing remains.

For all the times you’re hurt;
or been lost in despair,
will fade away in time;
‘cause nobody cares.

Nothing lasts forever;
you and I will pass too,
this time will never be back;
neither will be me and you.

All the memories wrapped in time;
shall pass like sand from hands,
you will travel all alone;
the paths to death lands. 

For all the times you’re hurt;
or been lost in despair,
will fade away in time;
‘cause nobody cares.

~Shreya

P.S. My creation, please do not copy | Copyright © Protected | Image: Google

P.P.S. Work Of Fiction!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Zero Fuck

Hey…. Peeps.. :) So do you give a damn of what people think, about you? How much it bothers to be on the opposite side and being judged exactly wrong? How many times did you change your thinking or decisions because you had a voice in your head saying, what people will think? How much difference it makes to know that being right you are not welcomed the way you imagined and deserved?  How much mass opinion matter? How much social reputation matter? How it has been, being a social wallflower?

At a point of time, you care of what people will think; but there is peak time of everything. There comes a saturation point, when you are just done with concept of people and pleasing them, where you are content with the understanding of what the fuck are you doing? Regardless of myths and facts, I have ranked belief above all. Suppose if I believe mermaid exists then I really don’t give a fuckity fuck of what people think how immature I am. Not even when million theories can prove that they do not exist. People are no new species they are you and me, and I see you as extension of myself. I hope my extension not to hurt me, but if that happens I come clean.

Why I believe in concept of zero fuck is because, it sometimes exactly conveys what I try to express. Zero fuck is a middle finger salute to all the people, things, scenarios which were un-welcomed and unpleasant. Where I found myself clean and still stuck in mess. Sometimes it is absolutely fair and reasonable to direct your irritation, frustration, anger, pain, disappointment to the situations. The blame game is crazy, it fixes nothing but relieves for a while when you point out something as responsible for all your unpleasant experiences. 

I won’t say I don’t care at all for what people think of me, it affects. I care, unwantedly. I want it to stop bothering me and everyone else. But certainly, I have got control over it. It doesn't stand that tall in front of me; it can’t over shadow me now. I give a zero fuck to people who have intentions to bring odd things to me. I want to be mean; I am mean in a way. But when you are mean, you are insecure too and I hate insecurities. To all the irrelevant events I give zero fuck, but are there things that are either way irrelevant? If yes, then what about the quote that goes like: Whatever happens; happens for a reason.

I used to believe; okay I still believe whatever happens is a part of chain of events that completes your play. But to fish for the purpose of such events takes lifetime. Words bite, deep like an arrow in middle of chest. Could healing be derived from hurting others? We all say no, but there are a bunch of people out there who do it anyway. Like it has been their legacy and they have to take it ahead. You blah blah in front me, c’mon save your mouth from moving. You hate me, go ahead I am not gonna explain you why you shouldn't. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)