“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

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Sunday, March 30, 2014

Irrevocably Gone

“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.” ―Pablo Neruda

















Can’t imagine stopping thinking of you;
scared a little; if I gotta tell you I’ll be dead,
sometimes I can even make out the meaning;
of the words you choose to leave unsaid.

Doubt if it’s gonna be good or bad;
whatever; I don’t care though,
may have not valued your presence;
but certainly your absence feels rough.

Wherever it takes me tomorrow;
sure am not gonna regret,
as my heart is irrevocably gone;
made it impossibly difficult to forget.

Universe conspired and we met;
would be hard to depart,
never imagined life after that;
but surely it will take all of me to start.

Admire even your pain equally;
everything that as long as includes you,
if everything’s gonna change tomorrow;
I’ll be the same and this feeling too.


Wherever it takes me tomorrow;
sure am not gonna regret,
as my heart is irrevocably gone;
made it impossibly difficult to forget.

~Shreya ♥

P.S. My creation, please do not copy | Copyright © Protected | Image: Google

P.P.S. Work Of Fiction!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Perpetually Dissatisfied

Hey.. Peeps.. :) “Much of what we called "depression" was really dissatisfaction, a result of setting a bar impossibly high or expecting treasures we weren't willing to work for.” ―Mitch Albom, So after having a holiday at home am still asking for more and I won’t waste time & space to justify why? Certainly, somewhere I find myself perpetually dissatisfied with almost all the things –all.

I want everything to be raw and natural. Be it things, feelings, expressions, people, places or anything that exists. I expect ‘em too much and when they don’t happen that way –I start to hate ‘em and cut myself outta it. Concept of hate evolves from expectations somehow. It is not good all the time, hate is never fruitful. It feels alright in beginning, but somewhere you too don’t want it.

Sometimes, when am too busy –I manage to dream of so many things I wanna do next time I get free time. I plan to do nothing at all, dump myself in bed all day long, don’t even comb my hair –leave ‘em wavy and falling all over my face and let wind play with it. Dress up in loose track pants and a tee. Have muffins by my side, a good novel and music; absolutely isolated corner –with no presence of people and sound, can hear tick of clock only. Gah! No phones and internet. Like I’ve been lost.

Other side of this imagination, when I am free –am so freaked out ‘cause all the options I had, seems to be out of stock. Friends being busy with their partners or they have a plan, I am not part of. I so wanna crazy busy life back –calls, emails, office, meetings, reports blah blah blah! and likewise, almost all the aspects. Can bet, God must be drunk when I was born.

Everything looks crazy, when you are one. We see things like we are or we want ‘em to be. For me the glass was never half filled or half empty –it was always a glass with water and I’d love to play with. Dissatisfaction is not bad, certainly not good –just a feeling I totally support, can feel now and then. C’mon, don’t temme you never were dissatisfied, if that is so –either you are too lucky or never expected. It is the hollowness in the core that is dark and never explored, it yawns but never sleeps. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Departed

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Holidays are over and I still wonder how pendulum swept so fast, as I came back to Bangalore yesterday. Woke up at 3:30 a.m. (though a day before I hardly slept), tied my hair in a messy bun, shrugged and nodded –so am leaving today. Whew! Left home at 4:15 a.m., sis and mum hugged so tight that I felt I’d die of claustrophobia –as usual, she was upset. Gah! I hate that part.

Aerial View
Dad dropped me to airport, it was cold outside and I was almost frozen. Hugged him before leaving and he pat on my back. So my luggage from Bangalore to home was 8 Kg(s) and as expected, from home to Bangalore it weighed 14 Kg(s). Anyways, dad stays till the flight takes off and he wants me to make a call before I am turning off the phone. This time I didn’t turn off the phone, rather set to flight mode –that’s a different story though. I planned to write this post in flight, when I was flying 39,000 ft. above the ground.

Have got much stuff to eat and am rich these days –need not to buy anything for a month, at least. When you are home, your salary account is kinda untouched that you apparently forget your ATM PIN. Definitely, I’ll be missing all that –that’s how home is. It’s nice weather over there and unexpectedly horrible in Bangalore, its 34 degrees here. I expect some rain, despite the fact that I don’t like rains.

So my busy routine starts tomorrow –office and work. One thing that I am happy about is internet connectivity is good, so downloading music is gonna be crazy. Yay! Life without internet is possible only when you are busy or you have a bad mood swing. Past two weeks worked as novacaine to me, it was much needed. Am back in full throttle now, lots of things are there to do –as I see my reminders and alarms, that I set before going home. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :) 

Sunday, March 16, 2014

A Little More About Me

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Wishing happy Holi to all my fellow bloggers. So am home and as a surprise to myself, I am not liking it this time. All are busy in Holi preparation. I want ‘em to give me time –family time, kinda feel like that stubborn-mischievous fat kid who loves eating and can’t stop –no matter what. It’s irritating, yet nice in a way. I come home after so long that I have no idea of the switches and things. Like a tourist trusting on Google mapsStarted counting days left to go back to Bangalore. Against my wish, gotta go.

Figured out, I have become more impatient than I ever was. I am like, I want it and I want it right now followed by my own tantrums. Not good, I know that also –hate that part of me. God; that kills me. I am so much into texting these days, like day-night doesn’t matter – all my time goes there. Strange but true.I know once I will be back, won’t get time to read complete texts. Like same old routine, I always wanted to change.

Okay, so I wanted to dance today. Concept of dance for me is: to express your emotions –I usually express my happiness with dance and cart-wheels, messy cart-wheels –that happens mostly in bed. I like freestyle and contemporary (to express sadness). I don’t know technicality of dance, just enjoy. Don’t care where my hands and feet are going, don’t mind banging and walking myself into the wall and that happens much often. I remember I had this bad ache in my waist, when I badly attempted Shakira’s Loca Loca.

Poor internet connectivity, hate that as well. Internet is like enemy these days –poor, irrational, jealous. Still can’t afford to let it go. Nothing much new to share. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)

Thursday, March 13, 2014

The One Who Flew Over Mumbai Slum

Hey.. Peeps.. :) As planned, I left Bangalore last Saturday to catch flight to Mumbai. While flying over thousands feet above the ground, the aerial view of dream city was beautiful. And then there was this sight, a wide area of land occupied with small tin-roof houses –the slum. Paint chipping off the wall, less space, life in limited resources. Architecture seems to be so foreign to their dictionary. Typical Slumdog Millionaire film set kinda location. It was so moving. But certainly each house had DishTV on roof top. Best stories are found in such locations, behind the lens there is something real.

Inside Mumbai Local
One of the saddest sights of the slums is to see the thrifty wife of the working man, with her rosy brood of children used to country air and sunshine, used to space, privacy, good surroundings, cleanliness, quiet, shut up amid the noise and dirt and confusion, in the gloom of the slum. –Albion Fellows Bacon.

Outside View, Mumbai Local
Fast-paced lifestyle, huge crowd, where time equates to money, surrounded by beaches. One thing that I like about Mumbai is; you can go out late night in terms of safety. For nocturnals like me, it’s a must which I am gonna miss in Garden City, Bangalore. In small towns when a girl comes home late, jaws drop. Anyways, took Mumbai local to Gateway Of India, I was dying to visit. Here is the image of the view outside the train and inside the train. Life’s tough there, struggle for survival is much comparatively.

The flat, I stayed in was surrounded with so many pigeons, kittens and pups –adorable. Mornings were beautiful, beaches and pleasant breeze can heal a broken soul. Whole day was dedicated to visiting places and shopping, though shopping irritates me but had a huge list of stuffs to buy. 

Outside a mall, this kid (in picture) was sleeping on footpath while his mother was selling balloons. Such sights are always moving to me, I usually capture such moments. Whenever I feel rough inside, I just scroll down such pictures.

Been to Bandstand, Juhu & Versova beach, Marine Drive, Bandra, Gateway Of India. Knowing about night-life in Mumbai, have witnessed people kerb-crawling to sluts on road side. It starts at around 11:00 p.m. to be precise. Couldn’t produce the picture. Dreams dreamt under the bridge, sleepless nights spent under the stars and wishing on airplanes considering ‘em shooting stars has its own value, rarely admired though. Left the dream city this Tuesday, would be great if I could help ‘em someway. Signing out, may God bless y’all.. :)

Sunday, March 2, 2014

The Change

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Rumi quoted: “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Finally it’s March and am going home, yay! The countdown begun the day I booked my tickets –nope, actually the day I decided I am gonna go home. Too many things going on a parallel track simultaneously. Work, me and dreams again –kinda have no plans to meet.

Anyways, just being bored of the current schedule and things going around –I have decided to change few things, right from time to things to me and what not. Losing interest in something I planned to do is not good for me. So here is the idea to start afresh. I want a change –in me, around me. Though going home is itself a change –I always long for. I am sure I’ll be back with full throttle and few added weight –that’s set as default. LOL!

And yes, am gonna go for morning walk from tomorrow –yep, right I have said so many times but hardly did, but tomorrow I am sure am gonna go –provided the morning shouldn't be lazy enough to crawl me back to bed. Damn it, I can’t do this. Okay, I am going tomorrow. If not, no brownies for 2 weeks –deal!

I will be in Mumbai for 2 days to pick my sister, and am gonna visit beach. Yay! Who cares about tan? Holi is gonna be huge this year. I have already imagined myself at home in March, week 2 –having all I want to eat, family and so many gifts. No wonder I plan all this every day, and there is more to come. How much dumb I have become I need not to prove –it reflects from my couple of previous posts. Time or priority whatever you say –something’s not working.

But I love writing, and will always love it. I have around 27 saved notes in my phone –all the thoughts that crossed my mind in insomnia, dreams, travelling or whenever –that I wanted to ink in some posts but are yet to be framed. They are gonna be up next. More than writing, I do reading these days. Rumi has got me glued. Every single quote is wow. The more you read, the more you feel to explore. You feel dumb sometimes for knowing that there is too much to know. Jean-Jacques Rousseau quoted: People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little. Signing out, may God bless y’all.. :)