“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

Random Posts

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Insecurities Ricochet

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Wonder, when you say “what if?” –you’re quite unsure, absolute ingredients of insecurity. Insecurities are like catalysts that retards the growth of happiness. Be it job, relationship, dreams or any other thing that matters. The reason being lack of commitment, I guess. I've been insecure from quite a time, for every damn thing. Sometimes my idea for being insecure is to be less sure about something so that it disappoints a little less. Rather keeping all my faith in it, I let it fill with doubt that serves me well much often and feeds my mind for a while, perhaps like fools' paradise. How complicated does that sound, following the traits -low, medium, high?

Mum-dad ain't coming to see me. I don't know why, but I guess somewhere I knew it is not gonna happen and how stupid do I sound if I say that despite this I imagined what am gonna do once they’re here? I wished for it multiple times, followed by insecurities of having may be and may not be debating in my mind and this is how I didn't get the happiness –I had subscribed for. So I find, sometimes smiling over something is to ignore the disaster, and to introduce sarcasm. Sarcasm has always been my favorite, seems never to bore me.

Hate to see your heartbreak by Paramore is currently my favorite and is been on loop, set as ringtone as well. I've always been scared of speed and height, and now more than that insecurities stab me, swallow me like antigens. A huge lump of insecurity is always there to choke me and I hate that. Insecurity has been partners with complaints, so if you have either of two -it brings the other half as well. When we don’t have options we complain of not having enough when offered many we complain confusion and this goes on like arithmetic progressions or I must say like Sine curves. 

I wrote this on my way back from office. I kinda like that eerie silence and darkness when I return at 4 in morning and it equally scares me. Well, how can same thing make somebody feel two exact opposite emotions? Just like farewells do –joy of starting something new and sadness of ending of something you’ve been part of. Oh, happy belated friendship day to all my fellow bloggers and readers. Strangers who love music are all my friends and those who don’t, could never be. Well, everything else is good. Any wonders, if I say –insecurities define the depth of passion behind something? May be yes, it does or may be it is just a fool’s asset to display passion. Whatever, I hope I get to see my family soon. Signing out, may God bless y’all.. :)


  1. take a break and go home i say .....

  2. comprehending it getting tougher..just like those devilish reading comprehension passages of various tests..I like your approach of handling insecurity....same with me..one cannot lose anything that he/she never possessed....Gandhiji's talisman is one beautiful message in this context....Gandhiji-"I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt, or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man [woman] whom you may have seen, and ask yourself, if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him [her]. Will he [she] gain anything by it? Will it restore him [her] to a control over his [her] own life and destiny? In other words, will it lead to swaraj [freedom] for the hungry and spiritually starving millions?Then you will find your doubts and your self melt away."....life goes on that way..it keeps throwing problems,we keep finding solutions..we are destined to succumb..but some keep them engaged that way...the attachments,the relationships,the insecurity,the ectasy,pain and agony..it find it momentary...a human life in infinite galatic star dust!..the universe and beyond...a speck in an ocean that stays for the minutest divison of time! Life would have much more secure had the human mind not evolved..it would have never thought what it thinks..Ignore is bliss!

  3. The Talisman is certainly good. "a human life in infinite galatic star dust.. " wow! :)


Hey Reader!! Wow, you are here. Thanks for visiting. :)