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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

To Kill The Bitch Curled Inside

Hey.. Peeps.. :) So, my absence here is for more than a week with less signs of improvement. Ever since I am doing night shifts, I have started skipping posts. I do write though, mostly in my phone. Zillions of notes are there, written in insomnia or free time or on my way to office. All are my favourite as they are raw and un-edited, just inked my mind. 

Guess, many could relate to the feeling when you argue with your mum and then feel sorry later knowing that you were wrong. Gawd, I am such a bitch. I felt terrible, and she has always been generous. The level of me being a bitch doesn't stop here; I forgot my parent's marriage anniversary. Can anyone beat this? Imagine, my mum-dad forget to wish me on my birthday –I will definitely go extremely mad for ages. But when I forgot their anniversary, they were like guess what's today? Damn me, didn't guess –just asked what it is.

Phew! There was a time when we used to talk 3-4 times a day, we used to Skype. Now, one call a day is like completing some quota. “How are you, yes am alive. Okay, take care –bye!” Gah! They don’t want to disturb me due to odd time and seems like I care a damn to return call when I get time. So this family convo is for weekends, long talks and all. They promised to come to meet me in August. I am fighting on this every day. I know I will convince ‘em as always.

I want to be ordinary, as simple as I could be. I want crosswords to be complicated only. I want my time away from phone and all these digital equipments. I want pets to be waiting for me when I return home after office and feed them. Let them cuddle me and surprise me every day. I want too many plants around and water them twice a day –and jump in happiness when they grow and bloom. No, I don’t want to post it on Instagram. I want birds to sing and fly around my window. I want winters to come soon, I love winters.

..And then, there's this bitch in me who wants a strong professional life too. Work like crazy, emotionless machine. Achieve laurels of success, be a part of rat race –like everyone else. Make living on my own, struggle to know how world outside home works. Explore rare dimensions of life and expect things to positively surprise me. Most of the times I want to kill that bitch, but it seem important to keep that bitch alive to make up for the times I was fooled –letting her to control me but support me when I encounter foreign one. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)


  1. Me too going paranoid over here...how to balance family life and professional life together.. Hats off to them who manage both with a smile.

    1. Yea, its no cakewalk to manage both.

  2. such is life..we humans have complicated it far too much..read somewhere.."we keep adding years to life and not life to years."

    1. agree, I read this one too. So true. :)


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