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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Perpetually Dissatisfied

Hey.. Peeps.. :) “Much of what we called "depression" was really dissatisfaction, a result of setting a bar impossibly high or expecting treasures we weren't willing to work for.” ―Mitch Albom, So after having a holiday at home am still asking for more and I won’t waste time & space to justify why? Certainly, somewhere I find myself perpetually dissatisfied with almost all the things –all.

I want everything to be raw and natural. Be it things, feelings, expressions, people, places or anything that exists. I expect ‘em too much and when they don’t happen that way –I start to hate ‘em and cut myself outta it. Concept of hate evolves from expectations somehow. It is not good all the time, hate is never fruitful. It feels alright in beginning, but somewhere you too don’t want it.

Sometimes, when am too busy –I manage to dream of so many things I wanna do next time I get free time. I plan to do nothing at all, dump myself in bed all day long, don’t even comb my hair –leave ‘em wavy and falling all over my face and let wind play with it. Dress up in loose track pants and a tee. Have muffins by my side, a good novel and music; absolutely isolated corner –with no presence of people and sound, can hear tick of clock only. Gah! No phones and internet. Like I’ve been lost.

Other side of this imagination, when I am free –am so freaked out ‘cause all the options I had, seems to be out of stock. Friends being busy with their partners or they have a plan, I am not part of. I so wanna crazy busy life back –calls, emails, office, meetings, reports blah blah blah! and likewise, almost all the aspects. Can bet, God must be drunk when I was born.

Everything looks crazy, when you are one. We see things like we are or we want ‘em to be. For me the glass was never half filled or half empty –it was always a glass with water and I’d love to play with. Dissatisfaction is not bad, certainly not good –just a feeling I totally support, can feel now and then. C’mon, don’t temme you never were dissatisfied, if that is so –either you are too lucky or never expected. It is the hollowness in the core that is dark and never explored, it yawns but never sleeps. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)

6 comments:

  1. May you get everything raw and natural,..Hugs

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  2. Shreya,

    Read 5 posts as I am here after a long time. How were 2 weeks without brownies? You must take firm resolve to go for morning walks. Your narration of Mumbai visit took me back by so many years when I visited that place last. Your talk about short visit home reminded me of my days when I as bachelor used to go home for such short visits. Your mind is really so busy with many thoughts. One should have a lot of expectations and work hard to achieve but accept whatever the results are with smile. Wish you all the best to have fun always.

    Take care

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    Replies
    1. :) Thanks for stopping by. 2 weeks were certainly good, did not have brownies though -had ice-creams instead. Morning walks are ON, successfully completed 2 days and counting. :)

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  3. such is life..it's no use questioning it's flow.

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