“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

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Thursday, March 28, 2013

Jamais Vu

Hey.. Peeps.. :) So it was 02:00 a.m. and I was checking my phone every 7 minutes, I was not expecting any call or text, I dunno what’s wrong with me.  Before sleep I use to think and imagine so much, well I do that all the time and it is something I am really good at. No, I mean it.. yeah! I put my hands back head and travel realm of my imagination, my thoughts and think about all that I want.

Since I was struggling to sleep I was irritated and felt like screaming out loud, and break the stuffs around and scream –“what the hell is wrong with me?” till it echoes all around. I wanted to go for a walk outside; I always wanted to go for late night walks. I love empty streets to walk, all that silence at 2:00 a.m. but I know I don’t have this option.

Sometimes all I want is to sneak off a window, go to a place no one knows, go for long drive till I couldn't see the crowd in the rear mirror view and be back with good experience. I quit drinking, but now I guess I wanna resume drinking and drink till am no more myself. It is not the first time I felt all this, it is like Jamais Vu. I felt it all zillion times but every single time it feels new.

If you will ask what is my problem? I may answer nothing, everything is fine. But then an inner mute voice screams out, where to start with? Most of my answers for your questions will be another question(s). I love this quote by Marwa Ayad and kinda relate myself with this: “I'm THAT complicated, mysterious, yet content with the "simple" things in life. Don't try to understand me; you won't figure me out. But you're free to like me the way I am.” Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Whimsical Mindsets

Hey.. Peeps.. :) As I always say: life never fails to surprise me. Every single day is wrapped with lit’l surprise, some open up into a great experience and some give a lit’l heartache. This week was somewhat like this, full of bad mood swings and whimsical mindsets. I always fail to recognize people, as I’ve mentioned in my previous posts –wrong people were my pick, I gotta learn to elbow out fair weather cocks and escape cupboard love.

But then a fleeting though says me –it is okay, it will be fine, don’t jump your guns, don’t judge people this soon, situations make them what they don’t wanna be, but why then people keep on judging me. Why they don’t wanna walk in my shoes, I ask them to come out of their shoes and walk the world in mine and then judge me ‘cause only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

Everything that I plan ends into a thing to be planned again and that makes me think why the hell waste time in planning, just do it. Do it whenever you feel like doing, life is unexpected and we don’t have time to plan things. I have hell lot of work with me, mood swings are like they ain’t gonna leave, people have their expectations and that scares the shit out of me and worst part is I can’t share my expectations & demands, PG food sucks, having no chance to go home, and dreams are like sky high, I have a great life.

So many problems are waiting to be solved, as they keep on multiplying day by day. People won’t stop laughing when you fall and they won’t come to pick you up, it should be you who has further to fall to pick yourself up and stand up to begin your journey again. Oh yes! I came across this quote and liked it: I may not be your first, but to be your last would be perfect. –Anon. Well, “Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.” –Allen Saunders. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Accept The Change Or Be Bored

Hey.. Peeps.. :)A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.  –Henry Ford. I am not good at talking, I talk less and I don’t talk shit. I think a lot –more than normal people do, and I don’t find it boring. There have been people who think that attending party is the best way to divide monotony and they are cool in all possible ways. Well, I don’t think so. Bored are those who don’t accept the change.

There are many things to do that can divide monotony. Life is not beautiful at all but it definitely is a gift and is something we own. I dunno how people get time to discuss about what other people wear, eat and do and I wonder how they drive fun from it. People may find me complicated, they need time actually a long time to understand me and sometimes it is like there is no one who can walk into my shoes.

Okay, lets change the topic. So to tell y’all something new: I just want “Viva La Vida” to be tattooed on my left wrist. I just want to go out, take a break, break the monotony of daily life, dance like nobody is watching, live like am the happiest person on the Earth and be back to blog my new experiences. I am always afraid of making wrong decisions, ‘cause it haunts like anything. I always pick wrong people, trust them and find myself in soup.

But then a part of me wants to go ahead and move on, make mistakes, learn things, know how this world works and then mend my heart and assemble the broken pieces back to normal. And I always do that and maybe that’s why I make so many mistakes. Trust me making mistakes is better than assuming and looking on and doing nothing.

I wake up every morning watching this tree (in image), it makes me feel good as it blooms every day. Mornings are always beautiful and never boring. If you are bored, get up early and have a walk around, listen the silence, dawn chorus, mums humming songs –it will bring you back to normal. And yes, Holi is coming this March end –gotta gift something to my mom-dad & sister. Hope to be a better person as every day passes by. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Jump Or Stay In The Boat

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come. –quoted Robert Harold Schuller (in Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do!) Well, I dunno if I have just cut down the tree or I have decided to wait for the spring.

If somebody will ask me what I am bad at, I will not take too long to answer: decision making. I am kinda bad at making decisions, be it life, career, people; anything and sometimes it becomes so hard for me to convince myself even if I have made a right decision. Mostly, I make decisions keeping so many parameters in mind. It includes a huge calculation that keeps going on in my mind. And sometimes it is not even required.

Sometimes I just don’t say NO because I think what they will feel –no matter if it burns out my boat. I should accept I suffer from “what they will think syndrome”. If I’ll analyse my history then mostly I have made wrong decisions, wrong people were my pick, and dunnno what. So I have decided to quit wrong decision making, and it comes from experience. And am not gonna regret my decision(s). As I chose to be happy, no matter what.

Worst decision is when you have decided but still it doesn’t satisfy you in hell lot of ways and you long to go back in time to fix it. It is so expensive to afford a wrong decision. It consumes all your hope and leaves a vacuum around you. It is really scary. A bad decision scares you like nightmares, you know it is not true but it seems real and it becomes so hard to differentiate. “We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.” –Ken Levine. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)

Saturday, March 9, 2013

The Seventh Sense

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle. –Crystal Middlemas. I agree, I feel love is like a cigarette –you know it is not good for you but by the time you realize, you are so addicted to it that you can’t leave it.

I know many of you must be thinking why am I talking of love today out of the blues? In support of this question I’ll answer: I dunno, I mean just simply. For me it is like love and I can’t stand in same room.

I think am a very complicated person when it comes to love and it is simply not my cup of tea, I can’t handle it. And I have a strong belief that it just can’t happen to me. I remember when I read novel –Anything For You Ma’am by Tushar Raheja, I just wanted somebody like Tejas Narula.

Though I knew people like Tejas of Anything For You Ma’am doesn't exist. Still I just wanted to meet Tejas, and I would if Tejas ever existed. It is very common with me; I fall in love with some novel characters and expect them to exist. I continue to expect my life to be like some of my favorite characters at least for few weeks.

I read somewhere: Love is seventh sense that destroys all other six senses. Well, is it?? *Shrugs* “The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.” –Chuck Palahniuk. Signing out, may God bless y’all.. :)

Thursday, March 7, 2013

On The Other Side Of Lens

Hey.. Peeps.. :) So I guess I can manage my time these days to get time for photography, as I always say its all about priorities and somehow I find photography in the list of my priorities -at least these days. So again I have got an attack of photography and here are few examples of it.
The Tree
The Lamp Post
The Eve
This was park in front of my previous PG
Coconut Tree :)
Aerial View Of The City
The Sky and nice whether

So these were some of the random clicks and I edited them to get a nice shade. I bet I can do this all day, provided I have time. Gawd knows when will I buy myself a DSLR? Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.P.S. Copyright © Protected

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Little Changes

Hey.. Peeps.. :) How is life going? Hope everything is fine on the other side of the screen. Life from my side seems boring now a days. So for a change I have decided that Friday(s) or Saturday(s) I will go out to places that interest me. No I didn't mean bars.. Lol. When you have a group of good friends any place can interest you, but when you are so new to a group of people you have to plan to visit places.

So after walking more than 2 months to my office still my weight seems to be 56. Even if I have lost it, it doesn't mark any difference -and that's bulshit. Its Tuesday and it makes me feel like oh God so many days are still to pass for week end to come. Why all these days don't pass like week ends? -Gawd knows. And yea, what the hell I have done this week end? -Nothing, yea I mean it. Just nothing, thousand things I will plan from Monday to Friday and then I come up with nothing, wow.. somebody kick me.


Bad Things Happened:

  • Badly bored
  • Homesick -missing home
  • Bad Mood Swings -actually worst ones
  • A jerk irritated me by calling me 40 times (to be precise)
Good Things Happened:
  • Mom sent me some sweets.. yay
  • Got my long lost pen drive -as I keep things safely and forget
  • Sister gifted me rosary beads and I love it
Plan for this week: Lots and lots of photography & editing. 

Hoping rest of the days of this week to be good to me. Expecting something good to happen this week, though I know it won't -so pessimistic of me, I know. Signing out may God bless y'all.. :)