Thursday, March 28, 2013
Hey.. Peeps.. :) So it was 02:00 a.m. and I was checking my phone every 7 minutes, I was not expecting any call or text, I dunno what’s wrong with me. Before sleep I use to think and imagine so much, well I do that all the time and it is something I am really good at. No, I mean it.. yeah! I put my hands back head and travel realm of my imagination, my thoughts and think about all that I want.
Since I was struggling to sleep I was irritated and felt like screaming out loud, and break the stuffs around and scream –“what the hell is wrong with me?” till it echoes all around. I wanted to go for a walk outside; I always wanted to go for late night walks. I love empty streets to walk, all that silence at 2:00 a.m. but I know I don’t have this option.
Sometimes all I want is to sneak off a window, go to a place no one knows, go for long drive till I couldn't see the crowd in the rear mirror view and be back with good experience. I quit drinking, but now I guess I wanna resume drinking and drink till am no more myself. It is not the first time I felt all this, it is like Jamais Vu. I felt it all zillion times but every single time it feels new.
If you will ask what is my problem? I may answer nothing, everything is fine. But then an inner mute voice screams out, where to start with? Most of my answers for your questions will be another question(s). I love this quote by Marwa Ayad and kinda relate myself with this: “I'm THAT complicated, mysterious, yet content with the "simple" things in life. Don't try to understand me; you won't figure me out. But you're free to like me the way I am.” Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)