Monday, January 21, 2013
Shades Of Solitude
Hey.. Peeps.. :) “Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?” –Haruki Murakami, I just love this quote and it answers few of my weird questions.
Why is it: whenever I am off in the search of novacaine, I want few good lines to read and I can spend hours on Goodreads. Past few days I didn’t logged in to Goodreads, today I am not willing to log out. Why death metal, alternative and operatic music makes me feel more alone. Last week I changed my playlist, I removed all sore songs. Today I am copying my old playlist from past 15 minutes.
People change around, when you are happy they come and ask for the reason –they don’t leave you alone. When you are upset, they ignore like you’d never existed for them. This scares the shit out of me. I hate being a social wallflower, I hate being in such obnoxious situations with those people who play fair weather cocks.
No, am fine. Its just I am missing home. Feeling separated and blah.. blah.. all that my old cry. I won’t waste time to express all that shit. I always say I can never understand people. All the time wrong people were my pick, except few. I hate being so stupid, being so blind. I wish nobody could notice me, no phone calls, no mails, no pings. Am not broken, I am annoyed for making few wrong decisions. I don't cry over my mistakes, I rather prefer learning from them.
Feel like deactivating my Facebook profile, switching off my phone for a couple of days, stop greeting people for few days and then I should decide what the hell is my problem. What should I feed myself to satisfy the hunger of.. Gawd knows what. Do I sound complicated? Yes I do at times, I guess we all do. But I know somewhere it is gonna be fine.
I gotta take a break from feeling sick and caring for bastards and bitches, feed time to myself and get back to normal with full throttle. “In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.” –Albert Camus, the more I read Camus, the more I love him. Signing out.. may God bless y’all.. :)