“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Forget You



















I saw you today laughing with her;
I know you caught me staring you,
you’ve moved on and I am still there;
This ain’t no surprise you’ve got somebody new.

Must be happy with your girl;
for she is beautiful; ‘am happy for you,
don’t care ‘bout me, am gonna be okay;
‘cause I have some of my friends who care me too.

Would have been stupid to think;
we’re gonna be together again,
how stupid of me to think this way;
I gotta forget you, getcha outta my brain.

I’ll buy a ring and flaunt it;
to pretend I am happy in my world too,
for some stupid reason I gotta do this;
so that it doesn’t anymore bother you.

I can feel the emptiness around me;
that grows everyday around,
I gotta learn live with it;
and get my feet back to the ground.

Sounds stupid to tell;
I imagined two of us to be again,
I know its not gonna work now;
so I gotta forget you, no more insane.

~Shreya
P.S.1. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.S.2. Copyright © protected
P.P.S. Image: Google

Monday, October 29, 2012

Amen

























After a long time I joined my hands;
and went on my knees,
made a prayer to Lord;
followed by an Amen and a please.

The flashback runs me through;
my whole life for what I have done,
missed opportunities and regret;
locks me in the chains of its own.

It chokes me deep to the core;
I wonder if I can get an Amen once more.

I donno where am going;
temme which way to choose,
for I know I gotta miles to go;
and I have no option to lose.

Everything is gonna be fine they say;
I donno how, for I am feel like Zombie,
if you are not drunk, answer it all;
or let me whatever I gonna be.

It bleeds my heart so sore;
I wonder if I can get an Amen once more.


~Shreya
P.S.1. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.S.2. Copyright © Protected
P.P.S. Image: Google

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Booze & Mosh

Hey.. Peeps.. :) "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy." -Frank Sinatra. Guess what? I had a booze session half an hour back.. yeah \m/ Well my roomies were planning to drink tonight, I had no plans about it. Till last moment I was like, I won't but I got my mind changed and joined them in the booze session. 

I personally don't like, but I don't know I just wanted to have and I had. The most embarrassing thing is to go to the alcohol shop and ask for your drink, especially when the shop is located in the center of the market surrounded with hundreds of passer by(s). When you enter the shop, guys stare like anything -I guess may be because they think they've got competitors. Lol!!

So we went to the shop, got Blenders Pride Whisky & Smirnoff Green Apple Vodka. Oops..!! Ice too.. ;) We are not chain drinkers, we can't drink neat so we got cold drink -Maaza & Sprite to mix with -as sweet adds more effect to Vodka. Yeah! So all set, first peg.. cheers!! Music, yeah.. & gossip. First peg -nothing happened to me though tasteless.. Ah.. yuck!! Second peg -I was fine and attended dad's call. 

Third peg -I was fine, nothing happened. Still I can drive at 60Km/Hr. My roomies felt sleepy, they slept. After 3 pegs I am still awake, writing blog. Completely fine and active. Seems like the drink was neutral to me, or my capacity is good. Lol!! Yeah.. I can see corner of my eyes turning red, still not sleepy. But am done, no use. Drinks can't get me good sleep -to get a good sleep was the only reason I joined this booze session.

So people must be thinking I am a bad girl, I am into drinks and all. Well, I don't care. Let them think, its completely fine with me. My mom is aware of this and she has no objection on this. (The only condition -I should have till the limit I can handle.) So I just don't give a damn what people think. No seriously, there are few people who have mindset that the people who drink are bad. Dude just buzz off! 

Drinking never worked -for happiness or sorrow or frustration.  All it has done to me was to burn a hole in my pocket and leave me penny pinching. This liquid in bottles of brown & green which seems to be the Elixir is actually Hemlock in flavor of Whisky. Music has contributed much more, always. A common thing in music & drinks is: both inspires me to write. "Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life." -George Bernard Shaw. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A Cup Of Novacaine


























Coming home late at night;
playing music of my choice,
feeling all alone but its alright;
and repeating favourite lines twice.

Though the weather is nice;
but it rains all the time inside,
I gotta swim outta my sorrows;
and hope my regrets to divide.

Call me stupid for all I’ve done;
I can’t scream loud for this pain,
its just gonna be okay, I know;
I wanna have a cup of novacaine.

No one is here to break the silence;
time seems to be the last grain of sand,
what the hell they gotta do of all this;
all we’ll need is a few feet of land.

Why to complicate things around;
why to run for what won’t exist long,
it grieves me to the core to think;
they pretend to be right when they’re wrong.

So many time I’ve been broken;
I just wanna go back to be seven again,
take me to the flashback of joy;
or get me a cup of novacaine.

~Shreya ♥
P.S.1. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.S.2. Copyright © Protected
P.P.S. Image: Facebook

Monday, October 22, 2012

Extraordinarily Common

Hey.. Peeps.. :) It was 2:17 a.m. when I checked out the time, sleepless and tired. So I woke up late in morning followed by a nightmare, back pain and cold breeze. I wanted to sleep again -as I stepped my bare feet on floor -all indicating me not to go office today, stay all day long in blanket and drink a big mug of coffee and skype my family, tell them I wanna come home on Diwali and bring them their favorite stuff, and I do miss them. But as always, the clock needle swept and poked me to get my lazy a** off the bed.


Okay, I decided to go office. I gotta wear sweater, I feel cold. Got ready, PG food sucks especially on Mondays. So my Monday breakfast is 4 biscuits and a cup of tea -which pretends to keep me alive till 1:30 p.m.. Now time to wear Office ID card and go to work. Reached office. Thought I will have a look at the holiday calender and plan something, but I forgot. At 7:00 p.m. I left office, took an auto -as today lactic acid had more effect on me I was down with back-ache, couldn't walk to my PG.

I love travelling in auto and gazing outside, I don't like sharing auto. Saw a sales man, selling some stuffed toys -aged around 70 plus in an off white shirt. Thick old black framed specs, oily hair, thin and olive skinned. So real, with no signs of regret or sorrow, so inspiring and full of life. While the driver was waiting for the signal to turn green, he came to me trying selling the toys. I refused to purchase, passed him a smile and I asked him where do you live? He couldn't understand english, neither hindi -I guess. He was trying to explain something in Kannada -which is completely Greek to me, so foreign to my vocabulary. He passed me a smile back and passed away. 

Signal turned green and auto driver drove away, I remember I tried watching him in the rear mirror till he disappeared in the crowed. I wish I could talk to him, like why is he working at this age, where is his family, how is he living.. and God knows what. I can portray him as a character of R. K. Narayan's Malgudi Days. I just love Malgudi  Days, its so real. Life is like this -unpredictable, mysterious and what not. I remember how I smiled back to myself when he disappeared, and how I gave a dirty look to the driver who was staring me smiling out of the blues. Signing out.. May God bless y'all.. :)

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Complicated

























There is a part of me I gotta explore;
it resides in me but yet so unknown,
some where it exists I don’t know;
I wonder if it is a shadow of my own?

It takes me to the untrodden paths;
making me walk on broken glass,
with bleeding feet I travel the road;
losing count, how long left to pass.

Tears refuse to come out;
smile refuses to make the curve deep,
it hurts to the core to act neutral;
I am so complicated, away from sleep.

I have fallen thrice but who is counting;
I am busy in walking too fast,
can’t see anybody around me;
am I the first or the one who came last?

Mood swings have become neighbours now;
they knock my door now and then,
I just pretend I am not home;
I know they’re gonna leave, don’t know when.

I feel like having albatross around my neck;
chocking me deep to the core,
I don’t know what else to wish for;
for I am so complicated, hurt so sore.

~Shreya ♥
P.S.1 My creation, please do not copy!!
P.S.2 Copyright © Protected
P.P.S. Image: Facebook

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Concept Of Loss

Hey.. Peeps.. :| (Neutral Smiley) "Its only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." -Chuck Palahniuk. What does loss mean to you? I can hear you whispering -losing something or someone, you never wanna let go. I think loss is when the output is not as per your expectation(s), wished or assumed while giving the input. Right?

While facing loss, lemme be more specific: In the tough times I may be hurt, broken for a while but I have become more strong afterwards. I just stretched 2 fingers towards my roommate and asked her to choose one -for one finger was assumed good and another bad when I wished something and expected it to be true. This is the most common way I do to satisfy myself for a while, and if by chance the negative option is selected then I repeat it thrice -stupid me.

"Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form." -quoted Rumi, this line always inspires me whenever I lose, whenever I feel low. People think loss will not make any difference to a person who has nothing to lose. Well, whataya say about the loss of courage, optimism, belief? Gotta explain? Loss is not only the loss of figures and quantities, greatest loss is loss of hope, belief -for it takes long to grow.

Though some losses are welcomed, weight loss for example -on which VLCC is running. Laugh it off.  Concept of loss varies with people, for some loss is when they went to a shop and the shop was closed -it is loss of time, money and expectation that they assumed the shop would be open. For some it would be an option to come to know about the other shop or what to do when no shop is there.

This may sound completely stupid, or may be it bores you but it exists -the concept of loss is how we take loss as. I believe we must grow our dreams & belief too big, that loss and fear seem to be too small -almost negligible. There have always been two sides of everything that exists, so loss also exists as other side of profit/gain and I guess it must exist to derive the value of profit/gain. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Being Neutral

Hey.. Peeps.. :) "Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral." -quoted Robert Orben and I agree. I just don't stand the people who tell themselves as neutral in the times of taking sides. Actually they are not neutral in choosing sides, they are neutral in everything -they are neither alive nor dead and that's how they opt for the worst combo.

People think being quiet in tough times, and being neutral in choosing sides will save them. Ah.. I am tempted to ask them -how? The annoying thing is that they don't even accept that they are neutral, they pretend to be in both the favor. "Neutrality may be useful, but it's useful like eunuchs are useful. Once you cut off their balls they grow big and strong, but you can never be sure if they will serve the harem or the master." - quoted Vaughn Sherman.

Hypocrisy is one of the reason of being neutral -I guess. Here is the neutral symbol designed by me. People may prefer but when it comes to action they will opt them outta the options. Being neutral  may portray you the image you wanna get but then there is no lie that can survive long under the veil. It has to come out in so many different versions and then you won't have any choices, not even being neutral.


How difficult is it to reveal the side or option you have chosen. Not choosing any of the both won't prove you fair enough, it will surely raise the fingers towards you. "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality." -quoted Desmond Tutu.

Thinking -is what I follow in all kinda situations, and normally normal people do the same and I suggest everyone the same before they open their mouth. I just don't count neutrals in existence, for me they are objects occupying space with no expiry date. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

Friday, October 12, 2012

Whispered Monologues

Hey.. Peeps.. :) "If you stand straight, do not fear a crooked shadow." -Chinese Proverb -is what I gotta follow. Life has been a great teacher, always. Mood swing again, mood swings are like pendulum -the more it will swing back the more it will swing forward, and you just can't help it. For a change you can welcome, but then you have to treat them like unwanted guests -and pretend you are not home when they ring the bell.

So these mood swings were knocking so long, I ignored and somehow they caught me from the window -shit! Feels bad. Okay, am fine. No biggie! Um.. lets talk 'bout something else, gifts?? Yea, gifts -I am planning to gift my family something this Diwali, no matter it I have to sell some of my favorite things. Family was always my first priority and always will be. Yea, am bit stupid -as always (shrug). No am not going home, I know am not gonna get leaves this soon -so damn unlucky, so homesick.

Anyways, for new(s) to count: I have started walking from my office to PG again. Music has always been the best companion, and so it makes me walk even after working 9 hectic hours like robot. It takes 30 minutes to reach and whole night to relieve the Lactic Acid from the knees. 7:00 p.m. -busy roads, crowd, noise, traffic, unwanted lascivious looks around and me with my own plans -tough combo. Hmm..!!

Currently reading Thomas L. Friedmans's The World Is Flat, nice book.  Now for me a good day means: Getting good comments for my work I do -when people thanks and appreciate my work, don't forget a single thing, have nice breakfast (only thing that makes my good day incomplete), reach PG by 7:00 p.m., write few nice poems, chat on skype with family, dad calling flashes my screen and sleep by 1:00 a.m.

Feeling like going home, so bad but as per my promise I won't. Every night I sleep promising myself that next day I will make myself feel good, will do somethings good, something I really really wanna do. Time, shit -I don't have time. Again I hope tomorrow to be a nice day, I get up on time, reach on time, work to get positive comments on Monday, make at least 1 person smile, and Gawd knows what not. In this hope, am signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :) (P.S. Image: Facebook)

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Fell Outta Love

























Its 2 a.m. in morning and I;
wanna hug my teddy and cry,
looking at your photographs  in my phone;
lost in your memories, left all alone.

It hurts to know that you;
love her and she loves you too,
do I ever cross your mind;
or it was only me who got blind?

I wish I would have never met you;
I could forget you like I never knew,
it cuts me to the core the way I feel;
for I fell outta love, never gonna heal.

I must walk outta your life;
am gonna give up this strife,
I can’t take this anymore;
‘cause you were never mine to adore.

What should I expect from you to be;
you don’t even know this part of me,
we talk out of the blues like strangers do;
for me its like a beginning –so new.

But I know its not gonna work;
I will continue to act like jerk,
its hard to pass these love sick days;
for I fell outta love, gonna part my ways.

~Shreya ♥
P.S. 1. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.S.2.  Image: Google
P.P.S. Copyright © Protected

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Agony Of Being Different

Hey.. Peeps.. :) People won't stop staring for something new, unusual and outta their mind. They will keep on giving that WTF look. They just can't help it. It may feel being the odd one but that's what it takes to be different. Everything new, unusual has to go through such obnoxious phase 'cause people may not be as smart as you think. They may be dumb enough to understand that they may take years to get that thing into their ole brains. I simply chuck that WTF look, for what it may be. Yeah!

I know you must be thinking what the hell I am talking about -scratching your head, right? Well, lemme tell y'all: its all about being different. Everyone is different in their own way, and so am I. People won't stop giving that WTF look when you pass around them singing your favorite song that has conquered your mind, wearing your old blue jeans with that patch/quote you like to put on, your old converse -almost torn, the way you mosh and all other such things. Do you limit yourself or its not your choice? -Think!!


Well lemme tell what I sometimes think outta the blues: Against this world and the people around -color my hairs to blue, back & blonde. Dress up in blue, grey, black & white. Drive long to some new road, I have never been before in the month of November. Dance in November rain at the middle of street, fly kites up high in sky. Feed a hundred birds, hug all the pups and kitties, spend time in gardening -planting, watering and playing with butterflies around. Sleep for hours without keeping an alarm around. Bunk office for a week, turn my phone off for a month, don't login my facebook for a week, don't reply a single mail for months and then come to know who were the jerks who missed me.Cook what I feel like eating, having lots and lots of chocolates & ice-creams at 2:00 a.m., gift my family and friends whatever they want. 

Write few beautiful lyrics for my favorite band/singer sitting around a lake. Walk alone a lonely street on a moonlit night at around 2:00 a.m. -don't care what these Mother F will think where I was whole night. Sing my voice out in the bathroom and scream like anything. Get tattoos on my wrist, forehand, neck and collar bone. Own a DSLR and click every single thing I want. Get a pug, a rabbit, a kitty and play with them all day long. Watch a movie, and whistle aloud. Whistle aloud for India at every six & four. 

Booze hard so that hangover doesn't pass. Dance like Shakira, don't care if it gives me backache for a week. Paint with nice colors a semi nude painting without thinking that people will portray it in different way -so bullshit. All this seems to be a dream, actually it is a dream, a thought, stuff that I use to imagine before going to sleep. But somewhere it bothers me what if all this will look like odd one out, how will I get back to normal for this agony of being different. People won't understand, never. They will criticize as always. So here I am to chuck this shit out and do what ever I want to. Being different feels good and it comes along with its own share of agony and loneliness, agree? Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Shadows Of Solitude

























I just wanna be alone;
in the world of my own,
away from people –heart stone;
I know I gotta reap what I’ve sown.

I wanna escape somehow;
and travel those untrodden ways ,
where nobody knows me;
and I’ll spend some nomadic days.

I walk the paths of loneliness;
away from the world –so brute,
I donno which way to go now;
and I follow the shadows of solitude.

Nobody cares, neither care I;
and it doesn't hurt me anymore,
‘cause I know how to deal with it;
 I don’t let it reach my core.

Its been so long, nobody asked ‘bout me;
why do I care ‘bout the people around?
I gotta be happy with what I am;
I’ll too forget them like I’ve never known.

So I will keep going on;
against the world –so rude,
It doesn’t exist for me anymore;
and I follow the shadows of solitude.

~Shreya ♥ (Written In Insomnia)
P.S.1. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.S.2. Image: Facebook
P.P.S. Copyright © Protected