Floating Insecurities

Deepak Chopra

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Deepak Chopra(Spiritual Trainer) says: "Key to success is inner security". I completely agree with him. Whatever Deepak Chopra writes or speaks is acceptable to me in any form, I just read and nod my head in acceptance. All about cosmic concept, spirituality and everything. I feel like we are having matching wavelengths. We are in resonance, as our frequency almost matches. 


These days I am kinda insecure. Yes I am. It happens, right? But this is not the thing you are looking for, you wanna know what makes me feel insecure, right? Yes, I can read your minds.. Lol!! I too donno exactly what is the actual reason? Umm.. my job? my future? my long listed wishes? or something that I donno? Gawd knows!! When we say: "I donno", half of the time we actually know but we don't wanna accept, right? 


Okay, I know you are getting bore and gonna exit this page. Before that read this: "Why are you worried about your job? You are not paid enough to worry!"-Courtesy: Pantaloons T-Shirt Quote. Lol!! I thought to buy that T-Shirt but actually this quote doesn't suits me. These days am having nightmares related with my job, ah.. in dreams I use to speak like am in office. Shit!! Daddy said: When you enter your office forget your personal life, be professional. Act like what you are paid for and the moment you come out of your office forget professional life, first thing you should do is to remove your employee ID. Be a friend, a daughter, a sister and a girlfriend (if somebody is there. I: dad!! Dad: I am just saying.)


Hmm.. I feel tired these days, suffering from back pain, neck pain, listening less music, sleeping more. Lost 2 kgs I guess, I haven't checked but I wish I could. So I have decided not to be insecure about anything, better to invest that time in something I love to do.. yes, music and writing. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

Back To Square One

Its been so long I enjoyed rains;
I don't remember now how to make paper boats,
I kinda lost my childhood somewhere in time;
seems like, on the sea of time those memories floats.


I donno when was the last time I made wishes;
pretending airplanes as shooting stars,
I love to be too stupid to count them on fingers;
rather being a victim of the rat race and political wars.


Those were the days when a single tear was my only weapon;
to get whatever I want and a new toy was enough to make me smile,
now there is nothing that can replace all that;
I wish I could get a fraction of that time for a while.


I donno what I am or what I've done;
all I know is, I wanna get back to square one.


I love to sleep with my teddy;
for I don't wanna grow up anymore,
I would love to fall and learn to walk again;
rather healing my heart hurt to the core.


So am gonna walk the paths of past to my childhood;
where I was as happy and satisfied as kings,
am happy in dolls and paper boats and paper planes;
so don't try to convince me with material things.


I wanna live those days again;
so bring me back my childhood,
I just can't survive in this cruel world;
I would love to be kid again if I could.


I donno what I am or what I've done;
all I know is, I wanna get back to square one.


~Shreya ♥
P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!

Never Never Land

Its 2 a.m. and am thinking of you;
all about the talks we shared and laughed,
are we friends or known strangers?
for few of the paths of time we walked.


I can't walk this path alone;
I just want you to walk beside me,
if you are leaving, just leave;
don't turn back for me to see.


I stroll near the sea side all alone;
with my feet in the grains of sand,
thinking of you when you were with me;
so see you once again in never never land.


Its the only place where you are mine;
where am happy being your mistress,
I don't wanna wake up if its a dream;
wake me up only when you have to say yes. 


So am gonna get lost in the oblivion;
do me a favor and take all your memories away,
and don't come back again for being sorry;
come back only when you wanna stay.


'Cause I'll find you someday somehow;
there is a place, where next to me you stand,
I can see you walking with me forever;
yeah that place is called never never land.

~Shreya ♥

P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!

P.P.S. Inspired by a feeling called Deja Vu.

Augmented Insanity

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. I donno how many times I'll realize this quotation? My today's facebook status: Politics paralysed humanity. For those who agree: Yea, we are in same boat. For those who don't: Walk in my shoes. I can never understand people. I wish I could read minds. They pretend to be good. Be innocent like a flower and be a serpent in it. I remember this line by Shakespeare. The more I read Shakespeare, the more I admire him. 


When you do good people stand next to you, they offer you and welcome you. When you do something wrong, they don't recognize you even your watchman will not salute you. When you are not doing good: no excuse works, no body believes you like unproved theorems. In college I used to organize events, if event went successful no credits to me but if it was not as good as expected, they start comparing and nagging questions were my only option. I hate those people who compare me, no matter if it is for something good or bad. I make a distance of 100 yards from people who compare, who are orthodox, who flaunt their stuffs as their status symbol, who try to rule me, who do me favor. I hate them from all my heart.


I hate people who have attitude. No matter who you are keep your attitude in your pocket, I have mine too. I donno what am learning, but I have learnt one thing for sure: Never ever trust anyone when it comes to professionalism. Cheat, backstab, politics, play tricks, bluff, lie, flaunt: I call it insane, people call it professionalism. Gah! Someone said to me: This world is not a suitable place for you, either leave this place or be like them, but I chose to strife.


I always remember the compliments that I've received, 'cause in tough times they work as catalyst for me that increase the rate of recovering reaction. I remember: One day while chatting to one of my lecturer he said: You know; you are one of my favorite students. I: but I never topped the university sir, and I bunked your lectures so much. He: Yes, I know. I donno what you are gonna be but you'll be someone great one fine day. I remember, I made so many teasing smilies for this along with LOL, ROFL!! But I don't see signs of being someone so great.   

A friend of mine said: One day when you'll be someone great, then I'll say she was my friend (I corrected him, "was" or "is"??) and people won't believe it that's why I want a group photograph so that I can tell those bastards: yes we shared same class room. I laughed and said: That's the ultimate PJ. But I've still saved that message, and whenever I feel like giving up: I just go to my inbox and read it.    


But I met those people also who do back bitching. Who pretend to be great friends but actually they are pests. Again Shakespeare's Friends & Flatterers knocked my mind. I have been so grateful to Lord for having few friends but good ones. I am doing my part of work, am not wrong in any way so I have all the reasons to chuck all this shit. This post won't be enough to write about how people are. People are available in so many versions, you'll never figure out which is their original one. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

In Pursuit Of The Horizon

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Last week I lost a candidate. For a recruiter: a candidate is what a patient is for a doctor, customer for a shopkeeper, audience for an artist, reader for a writer and tourist for a guide. Imagine a doctor without patient, shopkeeper without customer, artist without audience, writer without reader and a guide without tourist; same is with a recruiter without candidate. I hate to discuss about my setbacks. But I believe, if I share my happiness and success here then I must disclose my setbacks and agony also 'cause then only it will be a fair deal. Right?


So its 11th of March today, half of the month over. I am kinda worried about how will I achieve my target? No miracles happen over here in HR industry, never ever! But still I'd love to be a part of it. If I keep my office blues aside, then I can count this week as a good one: I slept properly, played holi (which I never liked), no sad updates on facebook, wrote 4 poems, no sore opertaic music this week (people can judge my mood by my song selection if they are aware of music genres ♫).


Another week gonna start from tomorrow, so what's my plan for this week? Leave no stone unturned to meet target of the month, guitar classes, contact a good publication house, find out a hindi-english play theatre in Bangalore, lose at least 2 kgs by the end of the month and reply my fellow bloggers on their blog posts. Someone please kick me and temme that these things are no cakewalk, its easy to list out but kinda difficult to do. 


I hate people doing me a favor, I love to pay my own bills. I donno why people try to do me a favor? Leave it, big story! I hate people screaming on me unnecessarily, they are not the only one alive with vocal box. But some D-bags never get this.. Phew!! Now I know what I want, I mean at least I know which way I am going. So I have less reasons to worry. I must be happy, actually I am. So am gonna make my way to horizon, oh! putting my fingers crossed. Make this happen Lord! Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

My Tombstone

I know I'll be pushing up the daisies;
and they will box me up under dust,
layers and layers will cover me up;
and all my bones will turn into rust.


For all those who love me;
place white roses on my tombstone,
light the candles and play operatic music;
for those who don't; walk away I am happy here alone.


Seems like I lost all my senses as I feel so numb;
and don't wake me up; its long back I slept,
I ran and fell after everything I chose;
no body knows; in the darkness I wept.


The Sun will be shining down on me;
and wind will kiss me as it passes by,
rains will shower me and;
moon will be gazing at me singing me a lullaby.


Yes this is how I want my tombstone to be;
am gonna part no more as I do rest in peace,
so am gonna sleep in the arms of Isis;
as from the chains of insomnia am gonna release.


~Shreya ♥
P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.P.S. Inspired by the quote on the Shakespeare's tombstone.

Heart Shaped Box

Oh it feels like love has finally found me; 
and I find myself unable to escape anymore,
but am still tryna walk away from it;
with bleeding knees, hurt so sore.


You are there in every thought that passes by;
like a cruel king you conquer my mind,
I wanna travel oceans with you but;
I donno I'll follow you or I'll be left behind.


So temme what to do with this heart shaped box?
where once you lived but now where nostalgia knocks.


Come and see it floating;
and tossed between violent waves of calamities,
will it ever swim outta it;
or it will be a victim of missed opportunities?


I scratched your name, as it belongs to you;
am gonna give it to you without anything in return,
and I want you to make it work like before;
or else fire it and let it burn.


Or temme what to do with this heart shaped box?
for no longer its mine, as after you it walks.


~Shreya ♥
P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.P.S. When people ask me from where do I get ideas for poems, I tell them: a little bird tells me.

Paranoid Humanoids

I know Cassius is around me;

planning me to back-stab till it digs my heart,

I wish I could unfold the conspiracy;

and again get back to the start.

I will fight till the last drop of my blood;

so am gonna roll up my sleeves and pull up my socks,

to give the best of whatever I can; 

to leave no stone unturned and unlock the life box.

But temme how to escape these paranoid humanoids?

who are fair weather cocks and unfaithful guides.

All I can do is to redeem myself;

to mend my shattered heart if I can,

I donno how will I make all this happen?

but imma work out for this plan.

So am gonna burn midnight oil;

when the rest of the world sleeps; then work I,

to winnow the overwhelming odds out;

and make most of the time that passes by.

But temme how to escape these paranoid humanoids?

who stab my heart till into two it divides.

~Shreya ♥

P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.P.S Cassius was an unfaithful character in Julius Caesar by Shakespeare.