“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

Random Posts

Friday, November 16, 2012

Stab Of Loneliness

Hey.. Peeps.. :) All great and precious things are lonely. - quoted John Steinbeck, well that's true. There had been times when all I felt was alone, ignored, unsatisfied and helpless. It was the same time when I got to know who are really with me. It was really disappointing to know that the people who pretended to be friends were fair weather cocks. The number of friends which was in 2 digits dropped to single digit, that's tragedy.

There has been so many things to do, to explore still we get time be lonely -sounds pathetic. If you'll burn your midnight oil to figure out the reason, you'll get lost in it. Imagine 4:00 a.m. in morning, sleeping city and you are awake gazing outside window -sleepless, turning out the pages of a novel and scary silence that you can hear the sound of turning pages, every tik of the clock, that reminds you of being alone. 

The air feels like stabbing to the core, music is the only companion that walks through and acts like bandage to your wounds, leaving behind the dark scars you wanna hide. Why is it, that every body wants some one else to divide loneliness. 

This week was boring, Diwali was boring. Missed home like hell. No Diwali gift, nothing new. Sometimes I think why did I came this far from home? Then a fleeting thought reminds me -I decided to be happy in all the conditions, I will never regret this life -What about these promises I made to myself? I can't cheat myself, no matter what. There has been so many things I gotta do, and I will do no matter if I have to do what I am scared of. 

At times, it gives me rough feeling, makes me feel like what the hell I've been doing. Look at the world outside, those people out there are happy and so you can be -I whisper to myself so many times. So many times I have woke up in morning feeling so so ugly about the way things are going, having negative feeling that I will never convert them to positive.

I feel like so complicated. I know I am not supposed to tell, but still I did. Though this blog is no more personal now, people whom I never wanted to read also read and that's pathetic. I just wish I had a secret blog, nobody ever known -except few selected friends of mine. But at times it feels great to read the comments when my fellow bloggers comment to support me. I have always been thankful. I guess I am not that bad at writing as I considered myself I am. Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. -Maya Angelou. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

12 comments:

  1. This is my first visit to ur blog..
    All I can say is u write very well.. Keep Blogging.
    One positive thought has the potential to destroy handful of negative one's. I am sure you will be able to find a lot of positive ones to conquer your fears and apprehensions.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, thanks Neha for stopping by :)

      Delete
  2. Well, the title of this blog post kind of attracted me. So I visited this blog for the first time. I must say,I could feel a lot of what you wrote as loneliness does bother me too. But I must tell you thatbeing lonely is just a matter of time as long as you can't realize the companion in you. Good writing. Keep it up :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea, it is a matter of time. I agree, but what if that time turns around so soon. Welcome to my blog, Samik :)

      Delete
  3. Would you be surprised to know how many of us out here actually go through the same routine stab of loneliness? But what caught my eye was that although, you do have times when all there is to know and think is dark and gloomy but you also show the strength to not get dragged down by it. No matter how you manage to do it, I admire you for that. Because for one, it is difficult for me to step out of my brooding-zone once I enter.

    Don't worry. Everything will be fine, and even sooner if you get a hang of how to keep yourself happy and not get dogged down by a few non-so-happy moments in your life.

    And your writing...well, I personally like your style. But at the end of the day, you're writing for your own sake, not to please someone. So I hope you won't judge your skill in that manner.

    Will stop by here again. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea.. Everything is gonna be fine :) Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  4. loneliness is part of living. What my mother always taught me. A good truth. Knowing it's a truth makes ir somehow easier to swallow.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shreya,

    What has got into you? Come on, just count your blessings. Look around and you will find so many persons in worse state than you. Occupy yourself in some creative work. How about penning some good poems?

    Take care

    ReplyDelete
  6. There's always a part of blogger that he/she never wishes to reveal..apparently the darker side..but somehow it creeps in the bloggers post..atleast I feel so and felt the same problem...and 'walking alone is an art not everyone can do!'...its solitude and solace is beyond the comprehension of restless souls..keep writing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'walking alone is an art not everyone can do!' -Loved this line. :)

      Delete

Hey Reader!! Wow, you are here. Thanks for visiting. :)