“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

Random Posts

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Fantasy Hope

Day before yesterday I bet my life;
one fine day I’ll win this strife,
so I kept my fingers crossed;
and in this hope whole day passed.

In unpredictable thoughts I was lost so deep;
I rolled all night and it kept me away from sleep,
yesterday I found my hope wasn’t real;
it tore me apart with no chance to heal.

Oh.. it wasn’t real and it broke me through;
but still it seems so hard to let it go,
and I was stupid to have fantasy hope;
like I was watching through kaleidoscope.

I can see my hope fading away;
like rainbow fades into the sky,
but still I’ll try to hold it back;
no matter if it gets me off the track.

I am scared to hope again;
‘cause once it broke me into the pain,
it aches like pulse of blood under the wound;
and I just can’t take it anymore around.

Oh.. it hurts when it heals too;
but it gets me little hope; so new,
may be I am stupid to have fantasy hope;
for I have reached to the end of the rope.

~Shreya ♥
P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.P.S. Image: Google

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Nothing Like That

I stared at you and you caught me;
I froze there for a while,
you smiled over me, I got melt;
and I too faked you a smile.

You got me completely lost;
I moved on and pretended to be okay,
I acted completely insane;
every time I tried something to say.

People ask me are you okay?
and at my back they pat,
they ask me are you in love?
I smile and say nothing like that.

Even though I doubt it;
but I donno what to name this?
I am confused and outta my mind;
for all the time I try and guess.        

Imma make an attempt;
to ask you to explain,
do you feel the same?
or temme whom to complain?

‘cause people ask me what’s going on?
I find myself speechless when they chat,
they doubt me if I am in love?
I smile and say nothing like that.

~Shreya ♥
P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.P.S. Work Of Fiction!!

Friday, May 25, 2012

Done With Existence, Phew!

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Umm.. so its my birthday today :) Last night at 12:00 a.m. my phone started flashing B'day wishes, my room-mates brought Chocolate Brownie, and it was yummm!! :) Thanks to them. If you are searching a line to read about what special I did on my B'day then you are wasting time, yea. Like everyday, I went office, worked and came back to my room. Boring, no? I know, but honestly I don't like celebrating my b'day.. yep! Now this sounds stupid.. I know but its true. Now don't gimme that WTF look. Lol!!

So like every year, I have decided to leave one of my bad habits this B'day. No you've guessed it wrong, am not gonna leave my habit of being lazy. This year I left my habit to get worried soon. Yea, when I am worried or tensed then it reflects on my face. Sorry; I am bad at acting and I just can't pretend to be fine while am not. But; people asked me to be happy, be free, keep smiling. I know it all but I am bad at implementing. So now you'll find an updated version of me, the smiling one and always spreading positive vibes like I used to be few months back. :)

I need not to mention: I am missing my family. Skype is not enough now. I'll not take more space to mention how much I miss my mom-dad & sister. I am done with existence and it was quite boring.. phew! I remember a quote by Chris Rapier: I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn't interest me. Its fits me accurately.

My B'day Cake
Oops, now onwards I am not allowed to think negative. Yes, I promise I won't 'cause I tried being negative and it never worked. All it gave me was insomnia, dark circles, some boring-pessimistic blog posts, and addiction to gothic metal songs. Now I can see myself able enough to pick myself up whenever I fall in the race of life. I must thank Lord for whatever He sent my way, for it was always to bring the best in me. 

I can't commit that I'll not get worried, but I can commit I'll try to stand with my flags holding high in tough times. I know I've miles to go, I've just started my journey. So obstacles will come, I need to swerve them and choose the right way. :) Okay.. now am sleepy! Gotta go, before that I must wish myself: Happy Birthday to me! :) \m/ Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

Thursday, May 24, 2012

3 Minutes

I remember when you walked in with your guitar;
I tried reaching you but you were standing too far,
I tried screaming your name;
but I was afraid that it could be the end of this game.

I locked my eyes at you and you fake me a smile;
I sigh and lost my mind for a while,
I turned my eyes off hiding my shame;
and got lost to decide whom to blame?

At the end of the day you said goodbye;
boy; it was so hard to leave and I sigh,
I can’t forget those 3 minutes when you came;
against my will I am going home again.

Now you are a part of my every dream;
soon you’ll conquer my realm,
what do I do with my heart?
I can’t go back to the start.

I look for you every time, and I try to work;
but every time I fail and I feel like jerk,
and I just can’t stop to keep myself from thinking of you;
and the tragedy is that you have no clue.

But I love it when you pass next through me;
I feel butterflies and you just can’t see,
I can’t forget those 3 minutes when you came;
against my will I am going home again.

~Shreya ♥
P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.P.S. Written In Insomnia!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Stuck In Reverse

Hey.. Peeps.. :) I got my role changed. Now am HR Executive, and I took two days to made this decision, whether to go for it or not. I must accept I am bad at decision making. As I mentioned in my previous post Decision Making In Salad Days click here. Yes, I really am. But I guess this time I made right one, may be or may be not. I donno, its smothering me but on the other side am fine with this. After all it was my decision only. 

Life never fails to surprise me, I just shrug it off. *Sigh*. So am moved to a new team, and I kinda miss my team. I know, I know not to use heart when it comes to work. But I am somewhere an emotional fool, I accept.. Shit! So.. Umm.. its been four days I haven't slept properly and I hate it when I find myself rolling in bed trying hard to sleep. Disprin works, yes it always did! 

I have decided to make a change in my schedule. So am gonna wake up at 6:00 a.m. in morning, to feel it. I forgot how mornings and evenings made me feel happy. My morning begins with Charlotte Church's song Dream A Dream (which is set as alarm tune). I make a small prayer to Lord for adding another day to my life and I sigh, gazing outside the window. And after that I get ready for office and finally when I reach office, I don't have any personal life then. I resume my personal life after 6:30 p.m. only. 

Nothing else new to share about. Same old life, same old me and same old long-kept wishes in a corner of my heart. I must say I have some good colleagues with me, and I am thankful for it to whom so ever it may concern. Whenever I felt like giving up they became my inspiration and whenever I felt insecure they were there to pat on my back and made me get back to normal mode. :) 

I believe, life without challenges is meaningless. Just to add meaning I am doing what I never imagined, and I always took my challenges as my opportunities and thankfully sometimes I converted them to best of whatever it can be. I am just explaining myself to go for new responsibilities, to accept what Lord has already sent my way. All I can expect from me is to give the best of me, so that I have never to regret in future to not have tried for it. There is nothing expensive than regret, it costs everything it can be. Hoping I'll meet all the expectations first of mine then others. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

Friday, May 18, 2012

Puppets Of Skin

War is when it costs blood for a drop of oil;
and echoes of gun-shots replace sound of peace,
when people die for handful of soil,
and it feels like it is never gonna cease.

When it paints the world red;
and colors seem to be stolen by shadow,
when every mother’s son is on deathbed,
and people still refuse to make a bow.

Then begins the end of conscience;
leaving regret and guilt locked within,
making us helpless to survive the existence,
and we feel like being ruled as puppets of skin.

When the end comes and it chokes the breath;
and people dare to come out with blood-shot eyes,
when it fears to stand even in right direction;
your heart screams for wrong decision and denies.
When it takes courage to laugh;
and its seems hard to begin again,
when the end divides heart into two,
and it leaves you to die in pain.

Then you beg for another chance;
and time laughs like a cruel king,
but there is no option to back off;
and we feel like being ruled as puppets of skin.

~Shreya ♥
P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.P.S. Written In Insomnia, yea it brings great thoughts.. ain't it??

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Dirty Scribblings

Hey.. Peeps.. :) As you can see day by day my blog posts are getting boring and boring, and the readers are moving away; in same way my English accents are going. I felt like killing myself when I heard myself pronouncing "walkin" as "walkin-nna". Here in Bangalore as per Kannada language after every word they add an extra "a". I called a candidate and he was briefing about himself and I was looking for a candidate with good communication skill, I changed my decision to process him as I heard him pronouncing "is" as "izz". I heard myself asking: "dude why are you raping the language?" 

In my 4 months (approx) of working experience I have categorized employees in 2: 

  • Who work and earn.
  • Who pretend and earn.
I am in first category and that's why people call me "machine". Even my room-mates also call me same, 'cause they find my every thing at its place, I don't leave my bed messed up no matter if I am getting late. I just hate stuff around my bed. I am organized and my sister calls me sick for being so organized, she says it is a disorder in which people are obsessed with managing and organizing things. 

I know, I know am talking bullshit but am getting bore. No, facebook is bore. Roomies are busy on call and am not feeling sleepy, so here am playing Mudvayne and blogging. Hey, one more thing: tomorrow is my room-mate's b'day and we are planning some "booze sessions", Yep! My b'day is up next and am thinking of my one bad habit to leave, yea.. on my every b'day I leave one of my bad habit.. though every year I get another new one.. Lol! I know people must be thinking of me like am a bad girl. Its okay, I have seen girls who do something on Saturdays and get outta mind and they cry Monday onwards, I never wanna be that girl. I know what am doing. Okay now.. gotta go. "Chocolate Mousse" is waiting. People.. c'mon, please criticize me or I'll babble like this. Okay, am shut up! Signing out.. May God bless y'all.. :)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Outta Cocoon

Hey.. Peeps.. :) How is life going? Um.. am fine. Did I took too long to think whether am fine? Well, I guess am fine but not the way I wanted. Um.. still am trying to put my words to express as exactly as I wanted. Its been 3 and half months in Bangalore. When I look back then I find myself trying hard to believe how I managed to live without my family. 

Yes.. these days am homesick, and every damn thing reminds me of home. Hostel food sucks and every day I have to fight with the owner as breakfast gets over before I wake up. I just don't like anybody disturbing me while am having breakfast, I don't even pick calls. I just listen some opera music in morning while having breakfast and pray to Lord for giving me food on my table. This is why I came to Bangalore. 

I feel like am out of my cocoon (where I was given love, fun, and whatever I pointed my finger at. My heaven was there in my home.) Now I am a part of rat race or I must say a programmed robot in the war of machines. Should a professionalist be emotional? May be, but not during working hours. We are hired to work emotionlessly, accurately just like machines: command+enter= result (target). 

Sometimes I feel like packing my bags and go to my home for a week and turn my phone off. Live with my family, meet my friends, go to college to meet my teachers. But a fleeting thought makes me back off, it reminds me not to use heart when you are out for profession. I know I'll do something good with my life someday, but sometimes it quests whatever I am doing is really what I wanted? I somehow convince myself to nod my head vertically yet half-heartedly. 

I love changes and that's why I can take anything that Lord has planned to send my way. Okay, lets change the topic: 

Bad Things Happened:

  • Got cough.
  • Feeling homesick.

Good things happened: 

  • I tried Vodka. No, my mom- dad donno. I'll be dead the day they will figure it out, but I'll tell them when I'll go home. Yes!! 
  • I am ignoring lifts in office, so every Monday is my "No Lift Day". I don't use lifts on Mondays. 
  • I can sleep properly these days.

So.. I guess, I can manage my life outta my cocoon. I believe one day I'll learn to fly. Putting my fingers crossed. Signing out.. my God bless y'all.. :)

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Don’t Want You Back

You are such a nasty son of a bitch;
people like you are meant to ditch,
what else I can expect from a jerk like you?
you are dipshit, faceshit; get the hell off here.. phew!

I remember the time when we drank and fell;
we played all hard rock metal songs and drove to *Del,
we broke the signals at every cross;
and the hangover took so long to pass.

I don’t want you back, ‘cause its over now;
and am gonna make myself okay somehow,
don’t explain me all your secrets now;
‘cause I'm tired of being last to know.

Still we were on and party all night;
we danced like nuts till we see the Sunlight,
next day was already over;
when I caught you with a bitch-typo lover.

You were after a D-cup hottie;
and every time you made me feel like zombie,
so I decided to make you regret;
in a way that you could never forget.

I don’t want you back, ‘cause its over now;
and am gonna make myself okay somehow,
buzz off, I don’t need a dork like you;
‘cause I don’t wanna be an option among few.

~Shreya ♥
P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!
P.P.S. *Del Rio (used as Del to make it rhyme in verse-2), I wanted to write something like this with urban touch so; here it is.