Once I reach office, I dedicate myself to work; to what I am paid for. I love working, I can't sit doing nothing for even 10 minutes. When I go to office then my energy level is low, but when I return back then my energy level overflows.. Yeah! I walk fast, as if something is after me. Lol! Yes; the reason is to talk to my family after whole day, to see them on skype and have the best part of my day. Life's not that bad, right?
I talk to them, have my evening tea and tell them everything about my whole day (it includes what dress I wore or what was in lunch and breakfast and everything). I know its stupid but I love sharing all this. When I was at my home then I used to fight with my parents to buy me this and that and the list never ends. But now they ask me to get me all those stuffs and I say no, its okay. Mommy cried, she said aww.. my baby has grown big, and gave me so many flying kisses on skype. I was like.. Oh Gawd.. tears were covering my eyes. I miss those days when I used to play rock metal with my speakers on full volume and mom used to snarl at me like anything and still I never stopped my music.
But I am good at acting, I can make them feel I am okay. I am okay, actually. Yea.. :) I use to travel in past when I played pranks with my dad, when I used to select black cool shirts for him, when I made spikey hairstyles to him and he used to remove them and tried every makeover to him, when we watched cricket matches on telly and all that screaming for every sixes & fours and nail-biting ending, when we used to play chess and I used to win every time and when he used to scold me whenever I reach home late. These nostalgic episodes are set on loop in my mind, they play on and on.
Mom is a typical Indian mom: honest, spiritual, loving, caring and friendly and strict when it comes to food and health. There is nothing about me that my mom don't know. She is a best cook and always ready to get me anything but puts conditions like: if you want this then score 70%, or you have to come to party/shopping with me (the thing I don't like) or you have to take a big bowl of soup every morning or it can be anything. But now no one is there who stands beside me with a bowl of soup or a big glass of milk, to wake me up when am late, to cook my favorite food, to ask me whether am hungry or want something, to oil my hairs, to tease me for every guy I know and to pat me when I sleep. I miss all this. I miss my sister: all those dirty talks, pranks, having maggi at 2 a.m., commenting each other on dressing sense and how we look like, teasing, and fighting for even a piece of bread, debating mom-dad loves me more not you, and clicking funny pictures and kinda black mailing. lol.. Shit! those days are gone.
Life is unexpected, I feel like going back to my place. The place where my heaven was, where I spent 22 years of my life, my place and my people. She told me your everything is as it was, my teddy, my novels, my study table, my dresses, my favorite songs and everything I used. But its okay, I have settled here, now I can pick myself up whenever I fall, I can see myself growing responsible. I can feel the change: in me, around me. "Falling is not that bad, for a while falling feels like flying.. ain't it??" I can enjoy that flight during fall, I have to. Nostalgia is something that keeps me alive, tells me I was in heaven and had best time, I feel blessed for what I am and I don't miss for what I don't possess 'cause I know imma make it someday. I don't regret for what I have been, and am leaving no stone unturned for every dream I have seen. I am okay and now there is no way to back off. Thank you Lord for always being my side. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)