“At one magical instant in your early childhood, the page of a book—that string of confused, alien ciphers—shivered into meaning. Words spoke to you, gave up their secrets; at that moment, whole universes opened. You became, irrevocably, a reader.” –Alberto Manguel

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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Its Okay Not To Be Okay

Hey.. Peeps.. :) When I was jobless then I used to think that "job" is the only missing part in the jigsaw puzzle of my life. But now it seems like it was not the "only" missing part, there are few more. I donno what. Um.. I am sort of happy for what I have got, for what I am and for what I do. But there is a thing called "but" which keeps on flashing in my mind. I donno why I am left with but(s) and if(s). But I know its okay not to be okay. 

Um.. I know we all feel like this, somewhat weird. I am a fun loving person, people around me find me funny and they ask me where I get my PJs from? But at times I go through some enigmatic sadness, and I don't like to talk to anybody, I just switch off my phone, deactivate my facebook account and stop greeting people and then I love to be isolated. I know its weird, but its the time when I can write best lines. And at that time I am "me".

Count Those Fakes:  Now if am not feeling well then also I have to speak with same frequency, if am calling a candidate then I must sound good. At 8 o'clock in evening mom-dad call me and this is the time I wait for whole day to come. So I have to sound okay to them as well. Life's like this, sometimes being fake is good. Am happy but I donno what the hell I want? I am optimistic, my Lord has gifted me loads of optimism but still sometimes I think like pessimist obnoxiously. Gah! 

But above all these thoughts, a fleeting thought comes saying: "its okay not to be okay" and I feel okay again. I wonder what am gonna be? I feel like so.. so.. so.. stupid for having so many weird feelings. All this happens out of the blues. I know this post is damn boring, please bear with me. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)


  1. Replies
    1. Just as you feel its okay not to be okay, its okay not to make sense coz at those you do make lot of sense. And since you are already matured enough to know the complexities and all, you would get answer to your questions, at these time, though not all, and more chances of new questions mounting up. But again its all a part n parcel. Take care :)

  2. I think you are feeling homesick...and yes, it is okay.

  3. Shreya,

    This post was not boring at all. Many of us can relate to this. We all need our own space at times and do not want to be distracted from what we are thinking of. It is true that we all need to tell white lies but it is for keeping others worryfree. It is not weird at all as it is fine to be at peace with not being Ok at times.

    Take care

  4. I hope this feeling will pass like clouds... Isolate is not alone being lonely, its a way of understand you state and inner discovery. Take care, everything will be fine.

  5. You have hit some thoughts I feel same often..having time for oneself in absolute peace,leisure,relaxation is rare...fake faces have to be put up,fake friends and n/w have to be built and running after fake goals seems inevitable....life seems too confused and muddled!!


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