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Sunday, September 25, 2011

Whispers Of My Heart ♥

Hey.. Peeps.. :) I am a jerk, stupid, careless person. I heard all these words this morning when I was sleeping n trying to wake up. Daddy was screaming so loudly. Reason: it ticked 9:00 a.m. n I was still sleeping. I woke up quickly just like dogs wake up when you make a hush at them. I tied my hairs, managed my bed n ran to the bathroom. I was saying to myself.. fuck!! again I woke up so late, when am gonna improve myself?? Then I looked up at the ceiling (in despair) n I heard myself saying: what the hell this life has become?? Its not the way I want it to be, never!!

So; again today I got a great lecture (from my dear parents) for getting back to routine. How to explain them, I try but I donno why I don't get up on time. Well losers always have excuses n so I have. I hate myself for this. So today I promised myself; I'll not listen to my I-pod ♫ ♪ till I start getting up at 5:30 a.m. regularly. So by next morning I have to get up early. n I have decided to cook for my sister, yea this is kinda strange. I have never been into kitchen & cooking. I try cooking only when mom is not well or she is off to somewhere.

And yes; I have started washing my clothes on my own, I want to be self-dependent so.. I wash my clothes daily. n I didn't knew how to wash a jeans?? So I uploaded google page, and searched how to wash jeans? I found out n tomorrow am gonna try it. Yes!! Crazy.. no?? Lol!! Google rocks \m/ n I also searched recipe of some dishes. My friends will be shocked reading this. Yea.. They donno this side of me. Ah.. life teaches everything. 

So babes.. you are going to get up at 5:30 a.m. Yea am gonna get up 'cuz I can't live without my I-pod, n as per my promise I won't listen to it till I start getting up at 5:30 a.m. regularly n its a great deal for me. So am gonna make it. I know am learning everyday from life, friends, parents.. n from my every mistake I made in my past.

Whenever I sit alone; I keep on thinking what to do next?? Sometimes it feels like everything is over for me, but then a fleeting thought proves me wrong saying: "no girl this is not you; you can't give up this soon". Whatever seems to be an 'end' is just a 'bend' n there is a long road left to travel n explore. n I use to nod my head in acceptance to this thought n I manage to bring back my long lost hope.

All my posts dealing with my mom-dad is not to make them a villain, they are always my sweethearts ♥. Yea I annoy with them when they try to improve me in a wrong way. Sometimes situation is like they are right in their own way n am also right in mine.. I believe there are conflicts in every kinda relationship n so I have it with my parents (sometimes), but on the other side we enjoy our differences as well. 

I know anger is very distructive element. I now try to be calm.. I don't cry, I don't get angry, I don't scream, I just leave when I meet with such situation. I change my room, I put my self into some work, I never let anger to become my nucleus to rule me. I know these jobless days will be over soon. I will fight for my day to come. I know good things take time to happen and may be that's why its been 3 months to leave college n am still jobless. I still have belief in Jesus, n I know  I am His favourite child n He is wrapping a gift for me. I will wait for His gift to welcome. Oh shit.. its already 1:00 a.m. n I have to get up at 5:30 a.m. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

12 comments:

  1. Take it easy...it has been just 3 months since you are out of college...some remain jobless for years.
    Parents to mean well, maybe they are not used to you being around...;)
    Relax for now...donno when it will all change and you will be thinking of this time wistfully.

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  2. @Janu: Yea.. I need to be patient and have hope. Thanks for your comment.. it means a lot. :)

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  3. better you work out on your timings first.. it will help you up in saving lots of time.. ;)

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  4. @Raj: Yea I know I have to manage my time, even I did it today. :)

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  5. why not try setting an alarm or if you had one before, change the tune. I think that would work. I'm wondering what you do all day since you have no job. I guess it's usually all Write, Write, Write :-) Wishing you the best, friend. Peace.

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  6. by the way, don't you think 5:30 am is a bit too early for you. It's not like you're rushing to go to work or school. I think you'll learn to wake up early when you get a job. 6.00am is just fine from my point of view

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  7. @Zifah: I set an alarm, and from past 2 days I am on time :) Yea I have no job currently so I keep on searching jobs on internet. I read, I write all day long. Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  8. You are being too hard on yourself... beating yourself up is not necessary..

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  9. @Sparklemezen: Yea.. may be you are right. But I know all this is gonna be okay. I won't leave hope. Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  10. good to hear that you're reaching your goals; soes that mean that you've started listening to your i-pod again?

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  11. @Zifah: Yea I listen to my I-Pod now. You are intelligent enough to figure it out.. Lol :) Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  12. wishing u best of ur hrdwrk dear :P

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