Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The Last Straw
Hello.. to the reader of this page.. :) It's been 3 days; I haven't chated anyone, texted anyone, I just logged in my facebook account yesterday to change my profile pic.. and i can see a no. of status updates from my friends, the world is still the same.. it feels great to be isolated when the external world becomes fake or uneasy to live in.. well, its just a phase i'm goin' through.. nothin' else!!
Robert Harold Schuller says: "there is nothin' like problem, all we see n take as problem is just a solution waiting to be made".. and earlier i use to believe it but now i guess its not that true.. i donno.. if i see i have hapiness as well, i mean; i must be happy n i can list out many reasons like: i must be happy 'cuz i have no backs, i'm havin' a friend like "duplicate", i have a family who loves me unconditionally, but is this enough for me to satisfy my hunger for happiness??
i guess not.. what 'bout my dreams that 'am dying to realise?? what 'bout that single thing that pinches me 24/7?? what 'bout that world; i'hv imagined to live in.. i donno what 'am gon'a do tomorrow.. i donno where will i be tomorrow.. but i do know; all these things r gon'a change so soon..
In past one month i'hv composed 15 poems.. and i can see the themes behind 'em.. it sounds so broken when i read 'em.. i can see my hand-writin' changin' along with my behaviour.. earlier i use to write round fonts, but now i can see pointed fonts flowing from my pen.. n that indicates the aggresion, and an enigmatic sadness i'm goin' through.. i can see spacing between fonts n that denotes loneliness, or isolation.. whatever.. it is.. i know i have to mend all these things.. n all i wish right now is that: may every thing come back to normal.. may i become the way i use to be before november 2010.
All this seems like "the last straw" but i won't allow it to break me down.. Still I can see hope and 'am not gonna lose it so soon.. n I know the day my friends will read this page; they will laugh it off.. they will shrug it off.. they will raise their eye-brows with an open mouth, 'cuz i guess they donno this side of me.. But i know they r gon'a understand all this 'cuz every one goes through this kinda phase.. ain't it?? :O
Yea one more thing: mostly I go for a walk around 7,8 pm.. and I see guys passing comments on me, they look lasciviously on me, and at that moment all i want is to kill 'em.. i hate this thing; no end.. No matter if a guy returns home at 12 a.m. but if a girl comes so late: "JAWS DROP".. I f***** hate this.. n i don't give a damn to these kinda people.. any ways, leave this crap.. "Life is what u take it as".. so better take it as a gift..:) I remember 5 things said by Shakespeare, n I won't forget 'em ever..
> Its only in the destiny of the dark (night) to hold stars.
> It doesn't matter what name u own, what matters is what you'hv done.
> Miserable hath no other medicine but; hope.
> There is nothin' good or bad but thinkin' makes it so.
> A miser person can never fall in love.
And these 5 things make me feel good every time i get down.. :) and this is what we call the magic of words.. :) All i wanna say now is: be optimistic 'cuz "a pessimist is a person who complaints 'bout the noise when opportunity knocks" :)