Still Moving On

Hey.. Peeps.. :) As office working hours are increasing for me, my possibilities to go home is decreasing. Now its 7:30 p.m. for me almost everyday. I am kinda bored, yea! I look for somebody to take me out, I mean I wanna go to visit places in Bangalore but tragedy is who will?? FYI, somebody doesn't mean "somebody special".. lol! Yea, I am left with no friends with me here in Bangalore except few of my colleagues and they are busy with their lives. I know, I know you are tempted to ask me what about my room-mates? 


Hmm.. what to say, we never have plans to go. We are having our respective friends. Its like sharing same room and having nothing to do with each other's lives. 4 months are over in Bangalore, still I hardly know anything about it. I know the area around my office and PG, rest I have to google it. So who wants to come with me?? Put your hands down people, we are at different places so we can't meet and this is another tragedy. 


Monday is gonna be somewhat different for me, as my training is over for new role. By Monday I have to deal with all HR related things and I just hate Mondays, phew! Saturday, Sunday is off. 2 days off and what the hell I am supposed to do in these two days? Umm.. sleep? Nah..! Wash clothes? That's already done this Thursday! Skype? Uh.. that is set as default.. but how long? People, suggest me something or I'll go mad sitting two days at PG.

Cute! No?

Currently listening to Britney's "From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart" and I can relate myself with few of its lines, here it is: 
Never look back, we said;
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind;
Where do I go?

Hmm.. I'll find something to do, I hope. What else? Umm.. yea, today in lunch I went out of office and there I found one kitten. It was so cute that I couldn't resist myself and I took few images. I just love kittens and pups. Here is one image, though people around gave that WTF look and I just returned that WTF look at them. Things around me are good and bad, messed up and organized, pleasant and unpleasant, in simple words its a tough combo and I've just accepted and am still moving on. Hmm.. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

Fantasy Hope

Day before yesterday I bet my life;

one fine day I’ll win this strife,

so I kept my fingers crossed;

and in this hope whole day passed.

In unpredictable thoughts I was lost so deep;

I rolled all night and it kept me away from sleep,

yesterday I found my hope wasn’t real;

it tore me apart with no chance to heal.

Oh.. it wasn’t real and it broke me through;

but still it seems so hard to let it go,

and I was stupid to have fantasy hope;

like I was watching through kaleidoscope.

I can see my hope fading away;

like rainbow fades into the sky,

but still I’ll try to hold it back;

no matter if it gets me off the track.

I am scared to hope again;

‘cause once it broke me into the pain,

it aches like pulse of blood under the wound;

and I just can’t take it anymore around.

Oh.. it hurts when it heals too;

but it gets me little hope; so new,

may be I am stupid to have fantasy hope;

for I have reached to the end of the rope.

~Shreya ♥

P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!

P.P.S. Image: Google

Nothing Like That

I stared at you and you caught me;

I froze there for a while,

you smiled over me, I got melt;

and I too faked you a smile.

You got me completely lost;

I moved on and pretended to be okay,

I acted completely insane;

every time I tried something to say.

People ask me are you okay?

and at my back they pat,

they ask me are you in love?

I smile and say nothing like that.

Even though I doubt it;

but I donno what to name this?

I am confused and outta my mind;

for all the time I try and guess.        

Imma make an attempt;

to ask you to explain,

do you feel the same?

or temme whom to complain?

‘cause people ask me what’s going on?

I find myself speechless when they chat,

they doubt me if I am in love?

I smile and say nothing like that.

~Shreya ♥

P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!

P.P.S. Work Of Fiction!!

Done With Existence, Phew!

Hey.. Peeps.. :) Umm.. so its my birthday today :) Last night at 12:00 a.m. my phone started flashing B'day wishes, my room-mates brought Chocolate Brownie, and it was yummm!! :) Thanks to them. If you are searching a line to read about what special I did on my B'day then you are wasting time, yea. Like everyday, I went office, worked and came back to my room. Boring, no? I know, but honestly I don't like celebrating my b'day.. yep! Now this sounds stupid.. I know but its true. Now don't gimme that WTF look. Lol!!


So like every year, I have decided to leave one of my bad habits this B'day. No you've guessed it wrong, am not gonna leave my habit of being lazy. This year I left my habit to get worried soon. Yea, when I am worried or tensed then it reflects on my face. Sorry; I am bad at acting and I just can't pretend to be fine while am not. But; people asked me to be happy, be free, keep smiling. I know it all but I am bad at implementing. So now you'll find an updated version of me, the smiling one and always spreading positive vibes like I used to be few months back. :)


I need not to mention: I am missing my family. Skype is not enough now. I'll not take more space to mention how much I miss my mom-dad & sister. I am done with existence and it was quite boring.. phew! I remember a quote by Chris Rapier: I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn't interest me. Its fits me accurately.

My B'day Cake

Oops, now onwards I am not allowed to think negative. Yes, I promise I won't 'cause I tried being negative and it never worked. All it gave me was insomnia, dark circles, some boring-pessimistic blog posts, and addiction to gothic metal songs. Now I can see myself able enough to pick myself up whenever I fall in the race of life. I must thank Lord for whatever He sent my way, for it was always to bring the best in me. 


I can't commit that I'll not get worried, but I can commit I'll try to stand with my flags holding high in tough times. I know I've miles to go, I've just started my journey. So obstacles will come, I need to swerve them and choose the right way. :) Okay.. now am sleepy! Gotta go, before that I must wish myself: Happy Birthday to me! :) \m/ Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

3 Minutes

I remember when you walked in with your guitar;

I tried reaching you but you were standing too far,

I tried screaming your name;

but I was afraid that it could be the end of this game.

I locked my eyes at you and you fake me a smile;

I sigh and lost my mind for a while,

I turned my eyes off hiding my shame;

and got lost to decide whom to blame?

At the end of the day you said goodbye;

boy; it was so hard to leave and I sigh,

I can’t forget those 3 minutes when you came;

against my will I am going home again.

Now you are a part of my every dream;

soon you’ll conquer my realm,

what do I do with my heart?

I can’t go back to the start.

I look for you every time, and I try to work;

but every time I fail and I feel like jerk,

and I just can’t stop to keep myself from thinking of you;

and the tragedy is that you have no clue.

But I love it when you pass next through me;

I feel butterflies and you just can’t see,

I can’t forget those 3 minutes when you came;

against my will I am going home again.

~Shreya ♥

P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!

P.P.S. Written In Insomnia!!

Stuck In Reverse

Hey.. Peeps.. :) I got my role changed. Now am HR Executive, and I took two days to made this decision, whether to go for it or not. I must accept I am bad at decision making. As I mentioned in my previous post Decision Making In Salad Days click here. Yes, I really am. But I guess this time I made right one, may be or may be not. I donno, its smothering me but on the other side am fine with this. After all it was my decision only. 

Life never fails to surprise me, I just shrug it off. *Sigh*. So am moved to a new team, and I kinda miss my team. I know, I know not to use heart when it comes to work. But I am somewhere an emotional fool, I accept.. Shit! So.. Umm.. its been four days I haven't slept properly and I hate it when I find myself rolling in bed trying hard to sleep. Disprin works, yes it always did! 

I have decided to make a change in my schedule. So am gonna wake up at 6:00 a.m. in morning, to feel it. I forgot how mornings and evenings made me feel happy. My morning begins with Charlotte Church's song Dream A Dream (which is set as alarm tune). I make a small prayer to Lord for adding another day to my life and I sigh, gazing outside the window. And after that I get ready for office and finally when I reach office, I don't have any personal life then. I resume my personal life after 6:30 p.m. only. 

Nothing else new to share about. Same old life, same old me and same old long-kept wishes in a corner of my heart. I must say I have some good colleagues with me, and I am thankful for it to whom so ever it may concern. Whenever I felt like giving up they became my inspiration and whenever I felt insecure they were there to pat on my back and made me get back to normal mode. :) 

I believe, life without challenges is meaningless. Just to add meaning I am doing what I never imagined, and I always took my challenges as my opportunities and thankfully sometimes I converted them to best of whatever it can be. I am just explaining myself to go for new responsibilities, to accept what Lord has already sent my way. All I can expect from me is to give the best of me, so that I have never to regret in future to not have tried for it. There is nothing expensive than regret, it costs everything it can be. Hoping I'll meet all the expectations first of mine then others. Signing out.. may God bless y'all.. :)

Puppets Of Skin

War is when it costs blood for a drop of oil;

and echoes of gun-shots replace sound of peace,

when people die for handful of soil,

and it feels like it is never gonna cease.

When it paints the world red;

and colors seem to be stolen by shadow,

when every mother’s son is on deathbed,

and people still refuse to make a bow.

Then begins the end of conscience;

leaving regret and guilt locked within,

making us helpless to survive the existence,

and we feel like being ruled as puppets of skin.

When the end comes and it chokes the breath;

and people dare to come out with blood-shot eyes,

when it fears to stand even in right direction;

your heart screams for wrong decision and denies.

 

When it takes courage to laugh;

and its seems hard to begin again,

when the end divides heart into two,

and it leaves you to die in pain.

Then you beg for another chance;

and time laughs like a cruel king,

but there is no option to back off;

and we feel like being ruled as puppets of skin.

~Shreya ♥

P.S. My creation, please do not copy!!

P.P.S. Written In Insomnia, yea it brings great thoughts.. ain't it??